Succubus
by Corrode
Summary: Lonely and fighting for her mortality Angel meets a tall savior in the hotel laundry room. But nothing can be that simple after her ex bound a succubus demon inside her. Craving that human contact and intamacy she is drawn to the soft eyed Sam.
1. Chapter 1

Succubus

I was floating like smoke, inching and crawling along the corner of the ceiling. It was like being submerged in liquid cotton; weightless, as my spirit climbed lower and then higher. I was searching for Sam, someone I'd met earlier that day in the hotel laundry room. Meeting him had reminded me that I was no normal girl, had reminded me of how alone I'd been feeling.

I was washing my delicates when we met, or more so collided, finger deep in lace and satin I was completely unaware of my next few seconds dilemma. That's when he came swinging in through the door. I felt the craving immediately like some kind of extra sensual intelligence. The squeak of his tennis shoes on the tiled floor brought me to face him. That was when I realized how long it had been, the craving took over and I felt the pulse of my libido- too strong to ignore. His soft hazel eyes met mine, a familiar beat throbbing, and then picking up like the crest of a wave.

He was tall, tall enough to imagine scaling his body and planting my flag. The ash gray of his cargo pants frayed at the edges worn often enough to suggest some kind of preoccupation with either running the mile or long treks through thorny bushes. The buttoned down wool pull over would have been huge on anyone else but only managed to cover both of those long arms and part of his hands. I probably could've spent the night in his jacket lacking the sleeping bag of course. Sam was slender but the fibers of his cloths were thin enough to sway as he moved and suggest his wiry muscles flexing beneath the skin. His dark hair was smooth yet careless around the ears. It was untouched against olive skin and eyes. I couldn't help but feel absorbed in his pupils. They were free of guilt or censure and made me feel compelled to let him have every inch of me. Let him absolve my sins he had me converted in one soft gaze. He smiled tightly the way most people do when confronted with a stranger, but this smile reached his eyes tilting them up at the edges, curved angel meeting slated brow. Sam was all angles and plains except for the softness of his eyes which looked out from beneath his shaggy hair and his smile widened. Two dimples appeared below the slanting cheekbones and I felt like I'd received some prize for my generous appraisal. My cheeks were burning even in the early morning air, in the room with the cement walls and dirty windows, I tried to ignore my arousal.

But the demon inside me, which bubbled and tingled at his looming approach, had me shaking with sexual urgency. I wanted to cling to him to wrap my legs around his tall frame and move with him. I wanted the demands of his skin hard-pressed into mine and his lips leaving prints.

I turned sharply away from him, trying to put a barricade between us. Yet, I could still feel the distension of our energy converging. It was nervous system arousal for me, heart pumping, breathing shallow, it was fight or flight and I was frozen. My shoulders shook, neck weak and head bowed, I worked to pull it together. But he was so close I could smell him, all musky and deep. I kept telling myself to just turn around and leave because each scraping of his shoe or shifting of his jacket was vibrating through me like a bat with sonar.

I tried concentrating on the image outside the window adjacent to my basket focusing on the sun as it rose slowly into the desert sky. The isolation of the scene was beautiful but only worked in fueling the melancholy that was slowly eating my will to keep going. I had always been a fighter or liked to think I was and now after such a long year spent trying to break this spell, I was so tired of the isolation my predicament caused.

I watched as the orb broke the crescent of a distant hill slowly covering everything in its path with the bright golden of its rays. It left no rock or thorny bramble untouched and stole my breath with its arrival.

Yet even with all the exterior beauty part of me was reacting rather strongly to Mr. kind eyes behind me.

And the sexual tension on my part was becoming almost more than I could handle.

Because as auditory as he was I must have been just as visual, swaying slightly and shaking like some deranged junkie. I felt his hand on my shoulder before it was actually there and trembled all the harder when he spoke.

''Excuse me...miss...are you okay''?

It was uttered in a calm voice like he was afraid I would splinter. Unfortunately that's just the way I felt like a crystal glass being played by his fingers. I could feel the quietness of his breath tickle at my hair and neck as he went on.

''Are you sick''?

My desire for him was so strong now that I was sore, every nerve anticipating his touch. Which radiated in waves throughout my body, up towards the point of physical contact, there on my shoulder. I could feel his fingers, his hands so defined and so warm like a gentle reminder of his presence pulling me ever closer to edge. I was afraid I would go into convulsions with the swelling and ebbing of the erotic field around us. I was afraid to turn around and witness those eyes again. To imagine what it would be like laying beneath him, our eyes locked as he moved inside me. What a painful thought for someone like me, someone who could never be loved with that kind of sincerity.

''Don't touch me ''! I demanded before I had a chance to prevent the words.

After he removed his hand I began a story, in halted tones and quick explanations.

''I just broke up with my boyfriend''. I said this facing the rising sun and after a pause added'' He wasn't the nicest guy but we were together for a while and you fall into a pattern you know''? It was not really a lie but did leave out any mention of the curse I now bore, inflicted by my ex. And I didn't point out how even now, with my back turned towards him, I struggled with wicked desire.

Feelings easier contained now that his hand was at his side. I turned towards his silence because all I wanted besides him was to leave this divergence behind. He stood tall and strait neck crooked to look down on me, eyebrows drawn together like he could read the subtle hidden meanings behind my words. It was a penetrating gaze that screamed _I know you aren't telling the whole truth_ but that's okay .I started to leave hefting my basket up on my hip but he grabbed my arm speaking in that soft yet firm voice.

''I'd like to help'' It was almost like a question making it hard to refuse. I glanced upward once, just long enough to see the earnestness in his soft eyes. And it made me hate myself even more. The reality of the situation was that part of me burned for him but not in any ordinary way. I burned in a way that could be lethal to him. But also in a way I could never let happen, as long as I had to weigh his mortality in opposition to mine. And so it was time to walk away.

I felt hot tears leak out because of my deception the idea that I could never know him stung terrible, making the loneliness intolerable. And grasping for explanation turned back to reassure not just him but myself as well.

''I'll be okay, I'm still healing but thanks anyway' I smiled through my sob, ducking my head once

again to break the painful contact. It was pungent when I realized how much I still wanted him.

Wanted him touching me again, because it was the only time I didn't feel this empty coldness

the only time I felt more than hopeless. Then suddenly he was handing me a number.

''My names Sam please call if you need anything, even just to talk''

He grinned through eyes lowered toward me, irresistible, boyish and totally infectious.

''Thanks'' I said careful not to brush him. I slipped it into my pocket making a mental note to throw the scrap of paper away. And then he said something I wished he wouldn't have...he gave me his room number. I knew then that I would call on him later that I would find him in his dreams and take what I couldn't have while he was awake. Maybe it would help to ease the loneliness and it would defiantly cure my hunger.

After all, the fiend sealed inside me was impatient and needed some form of tiding over. I was frightened if I waited too much longer I would lose control of her, becoming more demon than human. And then all this fighting to be human again would be for nothing. It seemed worth doing when Sam's soft eyes shinned slightly into mine, showing a concern I really didn't deserve.

''I think you're a really nice guy Sam, but you shouldn't be so unquestioning of people''

He looked perplexed as I left. I couldn't resist saying it though. It was my way of warning him about me. Because I thought that if in any way I could do some small good, maybe it would make up for the thing I was slowly becoming


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter one The Dragons Lair

Room 104 the place I wanted to be. The place Sam would be. I levitated in spirit form through the method of astral projection. It was something I had picked up years before and really only required relaxation and the training of your mind to let your spirit slip out at will. I remember when I had been younger and afraid I would just float on up and keep going like a balloon –I was never sure where those things went once released-and that I would become permanently ostracized like a foreign life form. But as I grew more confident in my abilities I realized you were never really completely separated from your body since a thin chord connected your spirit body to your physical. It did however take some getting used to since the means of travel took only a single thought to reach your intended destination and so it was easy to accidentally shoot back into your body just by thinking about it. I still did worry about other people coming upon my corporal body when I was out hovering around but I used protection spells and amulets to keep the less than savory beings away.

I had stumbled upon this route of ''emission'' I called it, early on in my days as a demon vessel. It happened by mistake one night when I had become so sexually frustrated, or the demon had, that I traveled from my body during sleep and visited my neighbor in his dreams. When I awoke the next morning I thought it had been little more than a ''wet dream'' or a nocturnal emission –hence the name. Instead, what I found was that my slowly weakening state had improved and that I actually felt better than I had before my ex had implanted me with the embryo from hell. I was really worried after thinking about it; I was terrified I'd killed my next door neighbor. Pacing my apartment all day I imagined what hell would be like for someone like me, someone who gave this unsuspecting guy a good lay and then just sucked the life force from him like an after dinner mint. Because after doing something like that whoever was in charge would defiantly send me to hell. Never had I believed in Hell in the past but that was before this curse had changed me. That was before this symbol on my arm had started reacting every time I came across an attractive male. And it was before my libido had shot up like a geyser destroying the crust of the earth and any life I'd meagerly gathered since leaving Ted.

And then a miracle had happened as I was glancing from my window at the graying clouds and thinking how appropriate the weather was for my oncoming damnation. I saw my next door neighbor fully alive and on his way to work, I nearly danced in relief. I could do this, travel into men's dreams and become some kind of fantastic fantasy. If it would keep me from needing to kill anyone, I could do it just fine.

Well, maybe not forever but long enough to find a way to break the curse.

So that's how it had started and that had been almost a year ago. So far any information I had received had been small but things were looking up, I was getting to know easier ways to dig for clues. Finding my way into the underbelly of the mystic had been a fight, most people involved were pretty paranoid and I had had to earn their respect. I was on my way tomorrow to see a contact Amy Derenger who said she had valid leads and I trusted her opinion.

As for now I had one order of business to attend and that was Sam. I could see his outline in the darkened room noting there were two beds and two occupants I took my time to looking around.

It was a shabby little room with thick shag carpet and dark grainy paneling. It was classic vintage

Wooden head boards scratched and dinted with age. A cheap one layer sectional set out against flat desert roads, the middle of nowhere, the middle of everywhere. There were signs of daily living: a half full ice bucket on the sink surrounded by crusts of bread and empty beer bottles. Also the towel still damp and I imagined smelling like soap and male skin, thrown across the floor and forgotten. The ugly green of the hotel curtains had been drawn together in loose folds and separated only at the center where the neon of the vacancy sign glowed and hissed in a maddening rhythm. It looked just about the same as my room with two large male differences. I suddenly wondered if they could be partners but dismissed the idea on the logic of lovers having separate beds, this wasn't television in the 1950's anymore.

Yet still I paused, this was the type of place people came to forget. The type of place secrets festered in silence while the rest of the world pretended they did not exist. It was the perfect place for someone like me. I suddenly wondered why someone like Sam would be here at all. Was he hiding from someone or hiding something? Oh cap it Angel, he probably just needed a cheap room at a good price, you're always so over dramatic-I chided myself.

Well if he was hiding anything I would know soon enough because during the process of fusion, when I sunk down into his subconscious mind, it was impossible to not absorb small pieces of the man.

It was like thoughts would fly at me like shrapnel soaking into me whether I wanted them or not.

I hated this process because not only did I learn more than I wanted, sometimes it made me feel like I was raping his mind or stealing his memories. But it did help to get the edge in his seduction.

I found out things I could use as advantage to my plans and it was more or less like strategizing a war or a chess game, I was one step ahead.

Moving in weightless abandon I came closer to Sam. His hair was falling over his eyes into his forehead and gathered at his closed lashes. Closed lashes creased at the sides and drawn down under knitted brows. The dream mirrored in his expression was worried and I wanted then to change that with urgency uncommon even for me. I studied the thin but curved lines of his mouth remembering the way it had curved up and disappeared between his dimples, showing the even teeth behind the grin. Even the small

Mole beside his dimple did not escape my notice and I started to wonder whether I was too involved emotionally to be doing this. After all it was just a one night in and out job I would probably never see this man again. Being like I was I couldn't afford to get attached, but what was a little bit of pain compared to not even having tried. I looked harder seeing the strength in his slender fingers, seeing the plains of his chest, exposed definition down to the trail around his belly button. He seemed a contrast of innocence and strength. How could I say no to that? Besides I needed this I was growing to weak without it. I came even closer, moving from the purple chakra behind my eyes, directing my thoughts into that third eye, a mental command that became physical on whim. I was now directly above him close enough to feel his energy close enough to reach out and touch him if I could. The aura around him crackled like small bolts of electricity and that was my first warning that Sam was different from anyone I had come across before.

I shifted brushing my spirit hand across his cheek and he moved slightly away. I was shocked, he should not have reacted to my presence in this state, and that's when I became fully aware of just how different his energy felt. It was something foreign that repelled me at the same time as pulling me forward.

I wanted him so much but the last thing I needed right now were difficulties, especially when I could be right on the edge of curing my own problems, why heap more into the pile? Now I felt morose I had been so looking forward to experiencing Sam and now I felt like there was this huge detour sign blinking above his head. It was blinking as if to laugh at me and curving right back towards the other bed. Well at least something might come out of this farce, I thought, tactless of any venom in my feelings.

And so I turned, hopeful, on the other sleeping form. He was older by so many years and had hardness to his jaw even in sleep. He was lighter in coloring a dark blonde to the others brown, yet bronzy in skin tone. Also he was smaller in stature with lips that were fuller, almost cupid like. But there was nothing small and defenseless about this man; he had alpha-male written all over him, from his close cropped hair to his stubbly chin. Okay so he was slightly more compact than his counterpart but he had a completely

Different kind of finesse that defiantly exited me. What the hell were two such beautiful male specimens

doing in my territory?

As I came closer I noticed the feeling of danger in his energy, of temper, and passion and some kind of unfulfilled obligations. But this one had no irregular feelings to him. I could imagine him swaggering around and it made me want to giggle with enthusiasm, it made me want to have _him_ take me. I could see

him devouring me with his hands after pinning my arms above me, or backing me into a corner, like I had no choice in the matter….it would be nice to not need to lead the seduction for once.

I let myself sink into him. The first contact was always electric, stimulating as I bonded deeper and deeper into his molecules. It was like becoming part of him, his blood, his heart and lungs, as I rushed further to the very center of his being. The place where every memory, every thought and emotion since childhood,

even the unforgotten, was kept safe, his subconscious. The subconscious was the place where all dream activity came from. Parts of our lives, unfulfilled desires, trash leftover and discarded that were unneeded or necessary, these were things compiled to create our dreams. They also helped me to get a clear picture of my target before I went to him. I was able to control the dreams around me to bring him his greatest desires just through hints I received in his mind. And it was those very pieces of him that now had me reeling. The time spent before going straight to his dreams was usually only a split second to absorb, this time what I learned about ''Dean'' did not give me the time to recover before I was thrust headlong towards what would most certainly be disaster.

Dean was Sam's brother and they were both Trackers. Not the good old boy deer stand in the trees types but more like trackers of the bizarre. These were the guys who would find something weird or unexplained and track them to put a stop to their nuisance. They were the type of hunters who would put the lost souls to rest and take down the possessing demon- anything that might harm others was considered fair game. Sam and his brother were in short; enemy number one. And the brother that I now occupied would never see the grey in my situation; Dean was a black and white kind of guy. This made

him potentially dangerous to me. I wanted to pull out quickly but knew that until fully settled in the dream I would not be able to go anywhere. I focused my mind on the playboy side of Dean, he was a serious sort of business man but he had a devil may care side, a joking side something that off set or balanced the all work aspect of him. Dean liked the women; he was the kind of risky say anything to you the night before over drinks man, who after one great night of sex would disappear with all his lies and your shame for believing him. But let's not paint him completely in black he'd had woman in his life and they'd all left him in the end, this guy had severe abandonment issues. He was cocky which meant the best way to go about getting him in my clutches was flattery. Suddenly I realized how bad I wanted to try and do this if for nothing more than to prove I could sneak in, blind him with sex, and blaze off without detection. I could feel the demon inside of me nodding in approval and stopped to wonder whether this was her idea or mine, had I already started fusing with her personality as well. The possibility was frightening. But I didn't really care the idea had become so appealing that it intermingled with my fear of him and the two emotions created something new. It made me feel unstoppable even if a tad worried, I wanted to do this.

I became aware that I was not alone, aware that there stood Dean facing me in the now blank canvas of his dream. An unfinished dream was like being in a great nothingness a canvas of black that somehow shinned from within. With a flick of my mind I set out a bar scene before us. There was a long curved wooden bar, a couple pool tables, plenty of fill in people, and one long legged bar tender, me of course, smiling at him from behind the counter. I made sure to make my jeans tight and my shirt low all the better for him to ogle and I tied my long red wavy hair with a leather strap. Staring out at him with my wide powder blue eyes I made sure my bold eye contact sent the one clear message he wanted to hear.

There was some panic to facing something that could lead to my demise, and it made me slightly lightheaded as I blinked back at him, hoping he had construed it as a wink I waited with my breath held.

I saw as he moved a little closer that his eyes were a nice rich green-hazel. Dean's presence was commanding and although he managed to conceal it quickly with a flick of his eyes I think he was as surprised by me as I felt about him. Gathering my sexual armor around me like a cloak I spoke in a throaty, hopefully sexy, voice.

''Hello Dean, what will it be tonight''

His eyes narrowed as he moved up to stand on the other side of the bar, he was considering me, sizing me up. I think he was already aware of the strangeness in the situation but yet wasn't sure how to react.

He must have been working on instinct, feeling something was off but not sure what it was. In some ways he looked like he was afraid I might eat him, I laughed angling my cleavage to be studied. I slid slowly closer running my fingers along the slick surface of the wood; I dipped my eyes and spoke again.

'' There's a bigger variety if you would come on back to the billiards room with me, I'm sure we could find something you'd be interested in''

When he didn't at first respond I continued hoping to clarify the situation, I knew he wasn't this slow but maybe he needed some reassurance, after all he was used to dealing with evil things in the night, I just had to convince him that I wasn't.

''It doesn't need to be such a major decision, you look like quiet the wolf and I was just hoping…….''I looked abashed to the side playing the part of naive innocence and hoping he would buy it.

''Wolf like……''he waited for me to elaborate.

''Well like a man who knows what he wants and how to get it, a man who…''I leaned closer and lowered my voice'' can please someone who needs pleasing…..you walk like you own everything about yourself'' I blushed really pushing the innocent ploy, maybe I was getting too good at this. I felt a stab of conscience

when I saw him seem to grow taller as if preening, he said'' I've never had any complaints''

I lead him into the darkened back room, cornered in shadows; the only source of light the neon beer signs and the filthy half-bulbs swinging above the pool table. Propping my hip against the side of the red felt table I removed the leather piece from my hair and let it slide down past my shoulders. As I began to unbutton my top Dean spoke.

''You seem eager enough, but what I can't figure is exactly where you came from. Not that I'm complaining but that sudden appearance in mid-dream…..was a little out of the ordinary ''He continued with a half grin slowly pushing me further onto the red felt as he advanced, it was like being at war.

''And where I come from strange is never just a coincidence''

His white teeth flashed and I began to wonder if I'd been too hasty in my decision to stay. I was half on top of the table now leaning back on elbows that felt all weak and rubbery. Dean was over me leaning in closely between my splayed legs. I could feel him jutting into the apex of my thighs; even through the fabric of my jeans the light contact was arousing. It was like he was showing me literally just exactly what he brought to the table. I was starting to actually doubt my abilities to carry through with my plans.

Could I use my mouth to convince Dean to stop asking questions if it were pressed to his, or tracing the outline of his jaw. Could I press my hardening nipples closer, urging him on, making him forget to think about anything except our bodies' urgency.

I found myself staring at his mouth in concentration, dropping my guard, lost in thought. His eyes were probing hot and heady, yet questioning; I wondered what my eyes disclosed. I became aware of the tightening of my vulva, the quick flash of longing as I wondered what his mouth would feel like there. His breath on the already wet skin, the length of his tongue tipped up to pry the sensitive folds like a strawberry ice cream. And then my breathing quickened. I couldn't get the image out of my head, I felt like I knew Dean could give me all that and more, like he could take the control and just drive it out of the park in one fantastic home run. I had always been the one to be in charge and now I realized I just wanted to be the one taken. I was tired of the responsibility that came along with the seduction; let him do what he wanted. I lifted my eyes to his completely and I wondered if he saw the raw need mirrored within them. I realized he was studying me also.

I wasn't acting like a dream; I was being careless drifting in and out of fantasy, like something a real woman might do. I could see he was suspicious I would have been to.

''Who are you?'' Dean asked eyebrows coming together with authority.

''Is that all you want is to talk'' I asked breathless and sulky. I reached out intending to curl my fingers around his jeans and pull him over me; nothing got the message across quicker than direct proximity of hand to penis. Dean surprised me though in a quick movement he wrapped his hands around my hips and pulled me harder against him, my legs now wrapped around him, I could clearly feel the part of him that was as ridged as his hungry stair.'' My dreams are never this detailed lady so you'll have to excuse the need for verification. ''

I could feel him shaking as he lost his self control. Once a man comes in contact with a succubus, especially one who's been aroused; he starts to feel like he's never wanted anything more in his life.

It was a cheap trick that I usually didn't resort to but I couldn't get enough distance from the experience this time, it had been too long for me, and Dean really had me excited. That was one of the reasons I stayed away from men in real life I was afraid of the effect. If I felt desperate to have a man and he felt the same in an environment I couldn't control the outcome to, I had a feeling that the consequences would be awful. Deans willpower was very strong and he went on to say ''Just as long as you're not a soul sucking demon'' He said this as if it were a joke but I knew then that there would be no grey for him, and it felt like a personal insult. Okay so I'd never killed anybody but isn't that what I was working up to. And then I was angry with him, all I wanted was for some action, I wouldn't have hurt him and I was hungry damnit!

''Do you have something against, screwing, if you're not interested just tell me…most men with a pulse usually are!'' I ejected roughly.

''And you've managed to side-step every question I've asked you, the outcome doesn't look good sister, and I draw the line at demon booty''.

''If you don't want me than get off me you ass''! I said bringing my hands up to push him away. Now all I wanted was to leave, I felt ashamed and rejected, and Dean was pissing me off. But as I pushed into his chest this tidal wave of lust seemed to grow from him. He tore off his shirt and leaned over me pinning me to the table. I was trapped completely as his lips found mine, open and warm he ripped my braw splitting it in the middle and covering all exposed skin like a devoted man overflowing with enthusiasm. Then his fingers were in my hair tilting my head to expose the delicate underside of my jaw as he thrust into my crotch like it was an involuntary muscle spasm. No matter how angry I told myself I was my body was already responding in that primeval way, I was meeting his thrusts with my own. It was the most fucked up dry hump I had ever experienced and I felt like I was losing control.

I knew that it took control to siphon off his life force in a small enough dose as to not hurt him; so in the millisecond it took me to take that in, I hurtled myself out of Dean so quickly I nearly went through the ceiling.

Then I was staring down at him staring up at me, well that's what it looked like anyway. He was breathing heavy and his eyes were wide as if he'd just had a nightmare. He sat up and mopped his face with his hand throwing the light on in the process and startling Sam awake. I watched all of this with relief but also some amusement.

''Dude, I just had the strangest dream..'' he told an exasperated Sam who blinking groggily asked ''that's what you woke me up for''?

''No listen there was this girl….''Dean started when Sam interrupted ''I don't want to hear about your horn dog dreams, get some sleep''

''I don't think it was just a dream Sam''

''Fine but can't it wait till morning, I promise to listen once the sun comes up, no matter how much gory detail you spring on me''.

I choose that moment to return to my body, still hungry and regretting ever meeting Sam. Hopefully I would be strong enough to leave by morning, if not I would need to find a donor quickly because now these two brothers might just end up tracking me.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay so here's the second chapter I have two more but am not sure if the content is too adult for F.F. Just how far can you go on this site and not get into trouble? Any comments are welcome of course, oh yeah I don't own these characters, figured a disclaimer might be necessary. Enjoy!

Chapter #2 wasted

I watched as the ceiling turned slowly from grey to rose pink, lovely but totally lost on my circumstance.

My arms and legs were more like dead weight than the muscled appendages they were supposed to be.

I had wasted valuable energy on my exploit into the enemy's arms and now was so weak that I was afraid getting out of dodge was a slow prospect. I hadn't been paying enough attention lately to my condition I was so sure my contact Amy would come through with a miracle that I had been skirting the issue. It took longer for the muscles in my belly to cooperate and pull me up. When they did I had the full born splendor of seeing me in all my horrifying color reflected in the dresser mirror. Not many men would take on something that frightening, I thought trying to smile. It came out more of a grimace and made me want to jump quickly into the nearest shower. If a woman had to look this scary she could at least do it with less grease in her hair. I studied my reflection noting the dark circles and shrunken cheeks, I looked like a holocaust survivor. It was not nearly as bad as it had been that first time before I'd learned the whole emission thing. I shuttered with that awful memory; for some reason the longer I waited the more I looked like walking death. It was as if my body was shriveling in on itself and would eventually deteriorate. I could still pass for human right now, perhaps bulimic, but human none the less. I reached for my cell hoping to get Amy on the line and explain the situation. She wasn't a close friend but the only one I had who knew my circumstances.

Hopefully, she would come through with some ideas on what I could do. I left her a message after the third ring, which was Amy code for occupied, usually with a client, or a male friend and sighed heavily into the silent now peach colored room. This was supposed to be the day where I had finally freed myself and the beauty of the ever changing sun rise just made me all the crankier. Today would have been perfect and now here I was stuck to my room with no idea of what to do. Perhaps, I should just lay here and die, I thought in a juvenile fit, huffing I threw myself back onto bed.

I thought of Sam and the anticipation I'd had last night. How the sympathetic light in his eyes had drawn me in like a sap and how the soft expression had me wanting to give him all my life detail in long drawn out words. But something had been off he'd had this alien energy that had kept me from giving into him, something illusive that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I should have just backed off instead of trying to salvage the situation with Dean; sure, he was sex made male: all testosterone and bronze. Sure he was bend down and grab your ankles sexy, but when Sam had seemed wrong I should've taken the hint and found someone safer. Just thinking about the brothers made me feel achy inside. I closed my eyes and imagined the feel of Sam's hands sliding down my shoulders. I saw us standing as we had been when we met. If only he would have turned me around demanded I give him answers, it could have been different, I could have disclosed all my problems, looking back into his eyes without deceptions, and then he would have helped me, saved me. I snorted, the things you are taught to believe as a child, as if there is some prince on a white horse for every girl, programmed in youth with fairy tales and happy endings, made to wish upon a star that never really existed. We'll Angel, it's time to take things slow and get yourself out of this mess because no matter how soft Sam looks his job is to take things like you down, not to save you.

I climbed out of the shower slowly and carefully. My body felt weak, sore, and horney as hell. For the thirteenth time I wished it was a problem I could take care of myself. Just the motion of the sponge against my skin had brought images to the forefront of my mind, images of Sam washing my back, lathering my skin, as he slid up against it with his own. I even found myself wondering what a Sam and Dean sandwich might feel like, and I couldn't help the wayward giggle that picture elicited. And now after toweling off and throwing on a big terrycloth robe I found myself throwing back the curtains with more annoyance than enthusiasm just to be greeted by a passing Sam who's eyes softened on contact, then turned to concern at my sickly appearance. Tearing the curtains closed my heart exploding with adrenaline; I was completely prepared to hide when I heard his tentative knock on the door.

''Please let me in.'' I realized I had never shared my name with him and now whished that I had. The plea in his voice was so anguished and he didn't even know my name, he didn't know me, why did he care?

''Just go Sam….I'm taking care of things, and you don't even know me''.

I said this leaning up to the door, fingers pressed to the wood like I could feel him if I pressed hard enough.

''How about a name''? By now I could tell he was pressed closely to the door as well and the question made the demand less invasive. Should I give him a name, would it be enough to put me in danger? Perhaps, only my first name, the one my ex had called me that I had come to like because of the irony in it.

''It's Angel'' I said this on a moan, almost as if just in those syllables a deep connection had been made. Sam however, took it as a pained thing and became frantic when he spoke.

''Listen Angel I think you're sick, you look like you've lost 10 pounds since we saw each other yesterday. I think something is wrong, and maybe you don't want to share, or to let me help you but I think you might die if I don't do something…..if you don't let me in….now…please, Angel''!

The last bit was said so urgently, just hearing him tell me something was wrong, I cracked and I started laughing uncontrollably. This was the most wrong my life had ever been and I couldn't even accept his offer of help. What would he do anyhow break through my door? I doubled over and lost my balance causing me to fall off to the side, and then amazingly he did break through and there he stood in all his knight in shining armor splendor, looming over me as the sunlight spilled in from behind him. By now my laughing had turned to tears and all I could think in perfect sequence, back to back, was I'm doomed/I'm saved.

Sam helped me up to my bed in a kind of awkward shuffle sideways, we toppled irregular and painfully onto the bedspread. The tears had managed to stop but still left trails down my pallid cheeks. I shivered under his touch, Sam thought it was the fever. Looking up at him with huge eyes I watched him pace the floor. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I couldn't run in this current state, besides with his huge long legs he'd take two strides to my five. I'd let him, or more so had no choice when he'd moved me earlier and I could still feel the pads of his hands as he fumbled for a secure grip. The robe was my only covering between his hands and instant delirious attraction to me.It had parted up the middle far enough for him to see the state of my shrinking skin. The bones shown through in some places and I knew his eyes would see no attraction there. It made me feel vulnerable to have him see me this emaciated; before, I had always been confident in my ability to seduce men and now I was fast becoming skeletal. He truly was wondrous even wearing a groove into the floor boards, even in my state I could appreciate the strait lined masculine beauty that radiated from him begging me to draw him closer. Finally seeming to come to some kind of decision he sat down quickly on the edge of my bed bouncing me in the process. I winced as I came back down.

'' Sorry, look do you think you could make it to the hospital''

I looked at him mortified, a doctor taking a look at me, not a good idea with my entire extra: demon added ingredient.

''No, I can take care of this myself, I tried to tell you that''I said with as much strength that I could muster; I looked him in the eyes and crossed my bone thin arms across what was left of my chest.

''that's what you said yesterday and now look at you; I can't even imagine something that would cause this kind of damage so quickly. ''

''Then don't… just leave''!

''Angel, come on be reasonable''….as he said this he laid his fingers gently across my hands, the arousal on my part was instant and I tried to pull away to save him from contact with my skin, but he held on pleading with his eyes.

''You shouldn't touch me Sam, let go''

''Not until you promise to let me help you''

How long would it take for him to react, I'd never had a man touch me outside the dreams since I'd become what I was, how long could he fight it. Dean lasted quite a while but then that had been a dream. I couldn't let it happen; if he began to lose control I would shortly follow and the next thing you know I'd drain Sam. It hurt to even think about.

''On my terms'' I said reluctantly adding'' please hand me my cell, I've got a friend who might be able to help''.

Sam looked relived as he reached for my phone and I hoped there would be a way to dig out of this hole I was in.

After leaving yet another message for Amy I decided it was time to attempt some friendly conversation with Sam, besides the awkward silence was driving me crazy.

''So do you often rescue damsels in distress''?

Sam smiled from his pacing and returned to my side on the stained bedding.

''Only if the damsel puts up a fight, why are you trying so hard to push me away''

'I think you already sort of know the answer to that, don't you?'' I asked him looking back into his eyes as well as I could with such a weak neck. I knew Sam was more observant than he was letting on other wise he wouldn't have felt it so imperative to storm my room. ''You pounded through my door like G.I. Joe , I think you might have some idea as to why I don't want you here'' I continued to stare into his face wanting to know that I might not need to explain myself, hopping I wasn't giving Sam too much credit.

He looked down and I thought that perhaps I was wrong, that he was still unsure of his answer. But then he brought his eyes strait back up to mine, with determination he stated' I think you are hiding something Angel, and that's why you don't want my help, you don't trust me enough, not to''

I blanched, the correct of correct answers, isn't exactly what I was hoping for, I thought I would have some leeway. And now here I was stuck in a place with my theoretical nemesis and no room to even wiggle my toes. I realized then that my plan to sneak out with Amy and to leave Sam behind would take some major planning.

''You don't have to tell me you know, but it could help me to save your life'' There was no even considering this comment and it made me angry that he had dangled in front of me like some golden fish hook. I could feel the demon inside becoming restless again, pushing up inside of me like she would come out and wrestle him herself. I groaned at the feel of her stretching out inside me, like an elastic barrier, whispering in my ears words of encouragement, pictures of me and Sam in ecstasy. I writhed on the bed tilting my pelvic up to receive an imaginary Sam more fully. To Sam it looked like I was in pain, that I was having some kind of convulsion and he bent down over me. He grasped my face in his hands and tried to get me to focus on his eyes, like it would bring me back. What he didn't know was that I was already with him, that the demon stretched up closer under my skin and pressed me nearer to Sam. The heat of his body and the pressure of the demon seemed to seep out of my skin, soaking it in a slick covering that would attract Sam like a bee to honey if allowed to touch him. I was scared for him then I was scared for both of us with that one little inch of his arm to my neck.

'' No stop''! I yelled with a force strong enough to send the demon back deeper inside and propel Sam across the room into the wall. What the hell was that, I asked myself, did I just make Sam airborne?

I looked and saw that he was sloped down and folded over against the wall next to the bed. Bolting up with an energy reserve that surprised me I knelt down beside him.

''Sam, Sam, I'm sorry…are you okay.'' I could feel his pulse and was glad of at least that much; slanting his head back I smoothed the hair away from his brow. He was so attractive even now and I ran the tip of my finger down his nose, my thumb held under his cheek bone. I never got to be this close to a man in real life anymore and I was tempted to kiss the cleft of his sharp angled chin. Silent tears were again spilling from my blood shot eyes, more regrets, that although was time wasted, felt thorny on my already bleeding heart. ''You deserve better than me Sam, you deserve complete honesty, and we could never have that''.

It was then that he opened his eyes and asked me'' What's going on her Angel, no more avoiding the truth, I think you just……''

He didn't have time to finish the sentence before two burly looking men shoved in through my door and made right for where I and Sam sat stooped on the floor. I was happy for the interruption but these men looked like thugs and they were glowering right at Sam as they advanced.

Sam was up like a prize fighter hesitating only slightly before throwing the bigger of the two off balance and then striking the other in the side with a strong closed fist. Wheeling around into a duck he kicked the feet out from under the first guy, and crunched back into the second guys toes. I stared in shocked silence. I knew hunters were supposed to be good but Sam was kicking the crap out of two men twice as round in girth. All his softness gone Sam fought like a warrior and I really hoped for the sake of these men they were the bad guys. But I had a feeling they might have been sent by Amy to escort me to her house. Amy always did things like that she was rich so she could afford to be eccentric. Not wanting Sam to get hurt, or my escorts for that matter I shouted' Stop it, he's not a threat'' motioning to Sam the three stopped in mid action to look at me like I was fanatical. One of the men who had a thick cockney accent and stood rubbing his rapidly swelling cheek looked dubious as he stated'' Maybe you should be callin' off the cavalry love cuz he aint the one hurten''

''Sam please, I don't want anybody hurt''. He looked at me like I'd lost all sense '' Are you saying they aren't here to harm you''

''Well no, Amy probably sent them, she's a little strange that way''

''Is this right fella's ?'' Sam asked pulling the other up from under him and helping him stand.

''Yes, the mistress figured something was up when she kept receiving calls and sent us to pick up the young miss here''. The other one spoke rigidly eyeing Sam like he thought Sam might reconsider a second attack. ''See Sam everything will be fine, Amy knows of my condition and will help see me restored to perfect health….I don't need your help'' I said this in a keen voice and bodded with a flounce of my neck. I was trying to sound as positive as I could hoping that not only Sam would buy it but I would also.

''So its some kind of sickness?'' Sam asked searching my face as he spoke he looked a little downhearted and I almost wished this wouldn't be goodbye. But it had to be; the longer I was around Sam the fonder of him I was becoming. ''Yes'' I answered he looked like he wanted to say more but was afraid to pry so I left his questions unanswered. I knew that couldn't be the end of it but hoped he would ignore the fact I had tossed him into a wall, maybe he would rationalize it. I packed and got dressed with the least amount of help I could manage. As I was closing the lid on my suitcase I noticed Sam smirking off at my side,'' You're pretty independent, aren't you Angel?''I smiled at him,' I've had to be Sam, a girl alone in such a big world, learns to deal on her own''. He laughed and tilting up my chin to meet my eyes stated'' Some people choose to be alone; you know where to find me''. The promise in his eyes seemed to be so many things, implications unlimited, and all false hopes at this time in my life, so I told him,

''Maybe someday Sam, things are a little complicated right now.''

Hands trembling I looked up to Sam one last time as he helped me into the limo. He seemed to be trying to read me trying to understand that I needed to leave him. He told me to contact him in a few days so that he knew I was okay. It seemed like there was something on the tip of his tongue just out of reach, just far enough to the side that he couldn't capture it in words. Or maybe that was just me projecting my feelings on to him. Whatever the case, I felt hallow as we crunched over the gravel taking me further away. I turned in my seat despite the pain it caused, looking to see his lanky form framed in the dirt stained window. I watched for as long as I could, even as his brother came out to stand beside him, gesturing with a smile. I wondered if he was explaining the dream and in only a small way felt glad to be leaving the brothers behind. Perhaps, if I ever saw them again it would be after I was clean of my stowaway. I suppose I could hold onto Sam's number. Smiling, I leaned back against the plush velvet seat, with a sigh I figured….possibly everything would turn out to be okay.

I fell into a fitful sleep, weakened to the point of exhaustion; I nestled into the back seat and started to dream. Marble floors the color of pale rose stretched before my bare feet. I was in some kind of chamber so large that it faded into the shadows and I couldn't tell where one ceiling arched and another began. I had the feeling that it didn't only expand into other chambers that it became longer like an underground cavern an underground maze. The only light source was the glow of many iron hinged torches. These were attached mostly to towering pillars that stood at different heights throughout.

The fabric of my cotton gown whistled along the floor as I walked forward, not in any known direction, but feeling compelled to continue on. I felt like I was looking for someone, that somewhere here in this vast network of tunnels, they would be waiting. In the gloom of the tunnel lights I could make out some crooked shapes in the distance and as I moved closer it became clear they were steps. It was a slanting staircase impossibly tall, uneven in its steep rise. It looked to be carved out of the earth itself. Arches were formed above and around it with curling patterns that well could have been Celtic knots, or Assyrian scrawl. Grander torches were fixed into the archways and I got the impression something or someone of importance lay beyond the tilted path. I was suddenly scared, what kind of place was this and why did I feel like in a way I was coming home? I looked at the flickering of the torches watching the way the ribbons or pattern writhed like snakes under their glow. They seemed to be taking shape, changing to form curves and lines of glowing flesh. I came closer wanting to see, in this hypnotic way, what I was actually watching. The motion of the curves dipped and swayed, merging until I could see what looked like many bodies interlinked, woven collectively like a tapestry and gliding together in rapture. Closely I could make out there tiny mouths forming circles in silent elation and I heard a voice, like a whisper in my ear.

''It could be how you want it'' and then the pictures changed and I saw me and Sam moving together.

I couldn't help wandering my fingers up to touch these tiny people me and Sam in exactly the same way I had fantasized over too often since meeting him.

''Or perhaps you want more'' the voice now in the other ear predicted as a third figure joined me and Sam. I watched as a tiny threesome two brothers and I moved together and I gasped at such a wicked implication, which was pretty naughty, even for me.

'' I know in your deepest desires you would at least consider it, After all I've seen them''.

I turned to confront this brash woman, to tell her what would and would not happen and I found myself on the same empty staircase. I looked up towards the top trying to penetrate its secrets and I heard her voice again echoing from the darkness beyond.

''I know what you want Angel, I know what you need. Isn't it time we talked?''

The room I entered at the crest was every bit as ancient as the rocks around us. I came in through a small opening which bordered a larger one that was also intertwined with the same network of tiny curving scrawl. It could have been writing, was defiantly symbolic and as I stepped past it, it felt like some transition had been made, something of meaning. The room around me gave off a brighter glow crackling beneath the weight of a ten foot fireplace that was adorned with huge Corinthian pillars on either side. The leaf work at the top was expertly done and so realistic that I almost missed the carvings along the top at the cornice. The shaft however was simple and smooth all the way around looking more ionic in nature than the Corinthian usually did. I noticed that around the room smaller arches done in a barrel top, cut up the opulence of the room into slices here and there, making it hard to see if there was another woman hidden within. Elegant furnishings greeted me in strange nooks placed around the room. One wall held a textile brilliant in color that featured a peacock with a curling tail. A recess to the side of two arched domes housed a luminous statue that seemed to glow from within. It was a woman staring upward, an expression of exuberant defiance over wings gently folded at her side. The firelight made her features seem to be alive and I thought she had triumphed over some unnamed goal.

''that's mother, beautiful wasn't she, that was her moment of glory, when she was finally free to be equal with man, no matter the price''. It was said in the same dulcet and seductive tones as before and as I came forward I finally saw her. She lounged on a chair of the deepest velvet red, a chaise that leaned into the pillar behind it. It was bounded by thin leaves of powder gold that sparked like an enchantment surrounding her tawny skin in a shimmering veil. She looked like me with her halo of ginger red hair and her long lashes fringing her blue eyes. Or rather how I did look out of my emaciated state. The swell of her bosom rose and fell in a panicked way, belying her calm words she reached out towards me beckoning me forward, out of curiosity I came.

''That is a story for another time I'm afraid because I don't believe we have much longer before you arrive at your friends house''.

I looked at her realizing for the first time this might not be just a dream.

''We need to start working together dear Angel, because the longer you go on like this, the weaker we both become.''

''What do you mean WE''? I asked knowing the answer even before she told me.

''Well who is it you think I am? It may be a pretty prison but a prison none the less''. She said this motioning around the room with a look of disgust she continued'' How would you feel chained away under lock having only small doses of nourishment''?

''I'm not sure, I never really saw you as a separate well……being. Not in the actual sense anyhow, can you really get us both out of this? I was so eager to hear her answer that I leaned in closer I didn't want to miss any of this. She looked at me considering her answer she went on'' Well I know things, things you do not, ways of taking nourishment that pale in comparison to your small sips. Don't you want to know what it is like to really lay with a man….''I interrupted her. ''But I don't want to kill anyone''! I insisted mortified that she would even suggest it, well she was a demon, right? ''You don't need to go around killing men left and right just because the legends say so, believe me I've been around since almost the beginning of time…I've learned some tricks.''

''But you need to let me in, to accept me as part of you. Stop trying so hard to push away your urges and embrace what you have become''

''Why should I, because of this curse I've had to push away anything even close to a personal relationship, and now it looks like I may have trackers on my tail as well''. I looked at her expecting some kind of justification and all she did was shrug as she went on'' Another reason you need me sweet heart, I've been tracked by hunters before. You do realize that Sam is no ordinary hunter, girl he's no ordinary man''.

''Where have you picked up all this modern slang from anyway''? I asked with a quirk to my lips it was hard to think of her as some ancient Hebrew being when she kept throwing in words like ''girl''.

''I've been inside you for a year, don't think I'm only there for the sex''.

''Well that's unnerving, thinking about you constantly watching my every move, do you hear my thoughts also?'' She shrugged again'' I know you even better than your own mother did'' The allusion toward my mother drove home her point, in fact I had a soft spot there. I had always tried to delude myself that my mother worked hard to support us, but just that never held me over on the lonely nights while she worked. And then at her funeral I realized I hadn't really known the woman much at all. We had continued through life as strangers, or acquaintances like different planets in the same orbit passing only infrequently, long enough for small talk. It made me angry she would even bring up such a delicate subject. ''Oh come girl I had to show you how deep this really went, we are connected in ways two parts of the same whole only can be''. She smiled then and in an instant I realized she didn't only look like me she was me an exact replica right on down to the small mole on my shoulder.

''Why do you look like me?'' I asked rounding her to absorb all the detail of my twin.

''Because, right now I am you, and I wanted you to understand how close we really are, how much we need to work together''.

As she said this two male forms entered behind her coming to stand with hands topping the chaise, I gulped nervously it was the very brothers from the night before, the hunters.

''Don't worry there not really here I just wanted to show you something''. As she said this Sam came around the side and kneeled before her. It was like watching a 3-D image of me and Sam and I knew this was just another temptation I didn't need. My mouth actually watered as his hand slid up the outside of her thigh parting the shimmering fabric, I thought of Pavlov and the dog with the bell and I wondered if I was being conditioned in the same way. His touch was so soft that I imagined I could feel it against my own skin causing a rash of goose bumps to break out over my body. Sam turned and looked at me his soft eyes beseeching me in that earnest way of his, he questioned '' Don't you want this Angel, to be loved in a way that's not hurried or flat, don't you want me?'' The last part of the question was quieter like he was afraid of my answer and I had to stop and remind myself this wasn't real, that she was just playing into my thoughts and dreams, letting me hear what I wanted to hear.

''You're not the real Sam, the real Sam is a tracker, he destroys things like me'' I backed up a step shaking my head I started to think it would be better just to wake up.

''But the way you helped me Angel, I know you're not evil and I ache for you just as much as you ache for me'' as he said this he came closer and the will to run towards him was just as strong as the will to run away from him. As I struggled with the desire to do either or, I heard her voice behind him.

''We could have it all girl, you don't know the true strengths that you now posses, whole empires would fall at your feet, just like Helen of Troy, battles fought for your charms, and Sam at your side…….anything you wanted''.

''And you could teach me all this?'' I yelled into the room in general, I was furious she would even make such promises why should I believe her, and why would I want anything so grand?

''Why would I believe you, you are a demon, not a saint''

''Honey that's just a title, I exist just as much as you do, I just play by different rules, If you want a sample you just wait, and I will show you before our next meeting just how much power we wield''.

I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that remark but all I could do was stare into Sam's green rimmed pupils, he was so close now and I hadn't even seen his approach. It was like I was falling inside them headlong toward whatever awaited me on the other side.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay not perfect but here's the next chapter. I have to say this one has so far been one of my favorites cause it smoothes the transition into the next level of action, I hope you can all feel the excitement rising as I can, I just wanted to say that I don't own these boys, if I did I would probably never leave the house!

I also want to mention that if I do keep the story posted because I will finish it no matter whether I post it or not that it's now entering alternant reality phase, yes the boys are still hunters or trackers however you want to put it but they work for an independent boss who has a clientele who they are hired out to for gigs most of the time, there back story will change as I hope to move away from complete plagiarism of the characters. But I do guarantee plenty of Winchester fun and erotic action even with the involvement of Angel. I still am not getting many reviews but am open to suggestions both good and bad. This story has still not been completely edited being a writer I never feel like it's perfect anyhow but I hope atleast some of you are enjoying the ride..cause I sure am creating it, and although fans are important I do write for purely selfish reasons….to please myself, and sometimes things just need to come out, stories need to be told. Thank you to all who read and respond------Corrode

Chapter3 Some kind of loven

''I'm telling you Sam, that was no regular dream I had last night. This gorgeous girl just came out of nowhere, it was all black, like some kind of projection screen before the movie starts, and then ..there she was'' Dean said going back over the scene in his head full view of all that gorgous cleavage clouding his mind, he had been trying to convince Sam for an hour now that they needed to check on this lead, telling him of how alarm bells had gone off in his head when the girl first spoke. It had been a while since they'd done a solo hunt, a job just because one needed done. Now days all they took on were hire gigs and for some reason those were never as satisfying. Taking on the freaky with no other reason than to do some good. It made a man feel first-class to just do something because it needed to be done, to adjust some monster attitude and kick some monster butt in the process. But all his brother had been able to focus on was this sick girl. He knew Sam had a penchant for taking in strays because Sam had been a stray once himself. It made him better at this job more sympathetic toward the client's needs; Sam was the guy that actually cared. Dean envied him this, it made it so much easier for Sam to get in the victims heads, and he had this built in empathy radar, which was almost spooky sometimes. Sam even looked odd right now in a shell shocked kind of way, it was defiantly a crappy time for his brother to get some cutsy little crush. It wasn't that he wasn't rooting for his brother; after all, Sammy hardly let any girl rile him emotionally; at least, not enough to get a decent lay. But hell, he had a real job here and all Sam could do was moon around like a love sick teenager. He rounded on his brother taking in the disheveled hair where Sammy had been ruffling it in frustration and blinking rapidly in disbelief, he looked like he hadn't heard a word that Dean had said. Okay, so maybe it was time for him to put the grinding ax aside and listen to what Sam had to say. It didn't look like he was getting anywhere with this at the moment anyway. Besides, if he listened to Sam's story first and his brother got whatever this huge weight was off his mind, he could focus on the more important things, like their job. Dean sat down beside his brother on the end of the hotel bed, clapping him hard on the shoulder, hard enough to knock Sam out of his stupor; he drew up his eyebrow and questioned him.

''Sounds like she was getting some kind of help, why is this bothering you? You did what you could''

''It's not just that Dean, it's just that something didn't fit, I swear I was lifted off the ground by some force that came from her, she acted like it was her fault. Hell she felt so guilty that she got off of the same bed where she'd been having some kind of convolutions seconds before, just to make sure I was okay''. Sam shook his head like it would help rattle loose the confusion.

''And there was this pull between us, every time I was around her…..this strange kinetic pull''.

''It's called arousal Sam and if you spent half the time being external as you do internal, you would probably feel it more often''.

''it wasn't about wanting to bang her Dean, she looked like she was dying''

''We'll if she was that sick she couldn't have pushed you into the wall now could she?''Dean said this with all the intention of ending the conversation there. So it was kind of a strange story but it didn't seem supernatural in any way beside his brother not being able to admit that a girl had thrown him off of her.

We'll he'd let Sam stew in his juices for a while, hopefully by the time he got back with some donuts and coffee his brother would be ready to listen to his dream, just the thought of last night's episode put a little jump to his step. If she had been real Dean had every intention of tracking her down, what an interrogation that would be. Dean tried not to let his thoughts wander too much in that direction he'd already had one cold shower this morning. It had ended with him shivering and wrinkled he'd had to stand under the icy jet for so long. Well maybe he should give his brother the benefit of the doubt and listen to the whole story, after all that's what he would expect if the situation were reversed. Jumping from the pavement he slid his feet across the gravel drive scattering the pebbles with a flick of his metal toed boots. He stopped to stair off toward the horizon where the already gathering haze swayed resting on that long black toped road. It had always kind of spooked him, these kinds of roads, the kind that went on for miles and seemed to disappear beneath the waves of dancing heat. The kind that stretched onward making you wonder how long it would take to get to the next plateau and if you would make it before the darkness, inky and absolute descended towards you. He figured it was the isolation of being such a central figure in an otherwise non-existent plain. Once in a great moon he'd stop in at those dinner truckstops.The ones with the red lighted signs that shone down through the windows as you ate. The dark shapes of the landscape rising in the distant twilight glow. He'd be fueling with the jabbering truckers as they told stories of dark endless stretches of road, middle of the night and terrified by some phantom along the side. It was classic legend, but knowing that didn't prevent the imagination from playing tricks, of course maybe it wasn't bull; after all he'd seen stranger things. He'd give Sammy another more detailed go when he got back, if he could believe in death walking the highway he could at least give Sam the benefit of the doubt.

I woke to the feel of strong arms around me and shifting pieces of my dream into reality thought it might be Sam. Tilting my nose towards the black ti I made to inhale his fragrance, and was assaulted by an undeniably strange odor. I heard the thickly accented reply ''your wake then love, a site better, now that you've had some shut eye''. How freaken embarrassing sniffing at Amy's help like a bitch in heat.

I looked up into the late afternoon sky, how long had I been out for. Seeing the question in my eyes he answered'' four and a half hours it's been''. I noticed the smell was wafting from his mouth as well and tried not to be too obviously rude, and turn away sharply as my immediate instinct demanded.

''But I thought we were headed to the cottage?'' I asked stifling a cough that almost made me gag, how could any man smell so bad. He almost looked amused at my antics and it made me wonder if this was revenge of some sort.

''I'm just the delivery man you'll have to ask Miss Amy why she brought us up to The Villa ''.

As he said this we approached the huge oak doors surrounded by different sizes of dark slate and smoothed out sandstone. Another layer beyond held igneous rocks, smooth and polished by deep sourced volcanic heat, they were glassy in texture and shone the reflecting sun light across their clean cut surfaces. The dome pattern continued with obviously more native rocks blending nicely into the desert terrain. The house was made entirely of all natural materials with small details such as quartzes' patterned out beneath circular windows. Around the property a large mud adobe wall closed in the courtyard, where a trickling fountain gushed from the bowl of Artimus the moon goddess. We clicked across the cobblestone at a lazy pace. Amy had told me about this place but I had never been and now I wondered what we would need so much seclusion for. I thought again of Sam as he stood strait and tall watching me leave. Was it possible to miss someone you hardly knew? I noticed the cockney guys fingers were covered by some kind of metal gloves. ''The smell and the gloves are both protectors love, I don't know no details , cept the smell is some herb or another meant to keep a demon on guard, I know it smells awful but I wouldn't want any succubus's feeding on me''. I smiled to indicate complacency; didn't want to let him know only attractive males need worry and especially not stinky ones. Amy must have found out quite a few things that I had no knowledge of. A lone bird flew over the pitch of the roof shooting almost straight into the air before dropping down again. I hoped to soon feel the same kind of elevated freedom maybe the end was finally in sight. Laying back into his shoulder I let him lead me into the foyer where he took a left and sat me in a swayed cream colored arm chair. A glass wall overlooked a cliff, where many feet below a creek meandered, picking its way over the heads of smoothed out river stone. Sand so rusty in appearance it dulled the yellow shrubs, and brightened the spiky cactus, sloped toward the muddy water. It was all so beautiful in contrast to the blue of the sky that it held an unreal feeling, and a peacefulness fell on me as I leaned back to wait for Amy.

With a jolt I realized I'd heard a voice that echoed in the tall ceilinged room, it was female and my first thought was Amy, when it sounded again I could feel the mocking in her tone and new instantly who this voice belonged.

_''Would you like a demonstration of our powers''?_ I heard her voice in my head, the connection between us had somehow been strengthened. Or maybe I was slowly losing to her as I feared. '_'You're right on one account''_, she said all snarky then continued'' _But none of this has anything to do with one of us losing to the other. That's what I've been trying to tell you, we need to work together girl, I said I would show you things, and we really need to get out of this damaged state''._

''I told you I'm not killing anybody'' I answered her back, finding I didn't even need to open my mouth to do so.

_''We won't need to, just a little persuasion and Dean will give us some with a smile on his face, nobody's ever died from jerking off''_ I could feel her shrug as she continued ''_ besides I liked him.''_

''what the hell does masturbation have to do with getting my strength back?'' I demanded sure she was talking nonsense. '_'Let's not get into the logistics of it girl, the point is it will. I told you there was no need to kill anybody just because human folklore dictates we should. Now I'm not saying it can't be done but its not necessary''._ I wanted to believe her so badly because if that were true it wasn't about good versus evil or morality faces guilt. Yet it was hard to believe in something you'd been taught to hate.

''Deans four hours away or didn't you realize that''. I smirked thinking I had her cold this time. '_'Distance is never a problem for me, so it won't be for you either, just close your eyes and you won't even need to project, sometimes you sure insist on doing things the hard way''._

I felt a pull through my spine and the next thing I knew I was rushing forward or at least my mind was, and then I was staring at Dean looking at himself in the mirror. His eyes grew wide before he was able to contain his surprise and then narrowed all tooth care was momentarily forgotten. _''We can travel through reflective surfaces, I could have just gone straight into his mind but I thought this would be more fun''._ As she said this telepathically the tooth brush dropped from Deans mouth and in frustration I reminded her.'we shouldn't be here Dean already thinks I'm a demon, this will just give him a better reason to track me''. Through the whole of our discussion, which Dean was oblivious to, he spent time fingering the fake gilded edges of the mirror as if it might be some kind of porthole.

'_'Oh mellow out girl, I've been hunted on and off again through the centuries its nothing to get your panties crinkled over, although I wouldn't mind having Dean crinkle them''_ I could almost hear her salivating and I couldn't blame her, the sight of Dean half naked and still damp, made me wish I could feel him. _''You can feel him girl, and he will feel you as long as he's facing the mirror. No extra whammy skin juices though but I don't think you'll need that for Dean here'' _Spitting the tooth paste from his mouth he came right up against the mirror touching my image and then turning to see a nonexistent me, and then back again. As if the more times he turned behind him to look, I would eventually materialize. It was almost comical and watching the progress of his ping-pong astonishment I was surprised when she stated.

'_'Use your thoughts to direct him back towards the mirror''_

''What, that's crazy are you saying I can control his actions with pure thought''?

'_'Of course you can, how do you think Cleopatra brought Anthony to his knees, or Gwendolyn Lancelot for that matter''_

''I thought King Arthur was a myth''?

'_'All myth has a basis in fact look at us after all. Did you ever think you'd be part Lilin?''_

''What the hell is Lilin?''

'_'it's the proper name for my race, but enough about that for now, or our man will get board, come on just direct him back towards the mirror……yeah, now stand behind him and reach around his waist''._

''I don't need directions, I'm glad he can't hear us, it's hard enough to be in the mood with you bickering over my shoulder''. I told her with a snap. Moving to stand behind Dean I blocked the lilin from my mind as I leaned my head against the curved muscles on his humid back. Watching the rivulets of water tracing slowly and then fast into the crescent of his towel, I moved in closer to study his professionally molded shoulders. The muscles jumped at my touch tensing before he gave over on a sigh. Following the curved path of his shoulder blades with feather light finger tips I admired the texture of his tawny skin before letting my gaze lower to the natural curve towards the bottom. I wanted to curse the towel which hid such tight ass from my view. Letting my hair trickle down past his waist I inhaled slowly feeling the sexual tension surround us and tighten at my core. I slid my arms around his sensitive waist leaning into him for support. It was nice to feel a man, to embrace him without thoughts, or fears about that whole skin contact thing, and I wondered why it should be different this way. Before I could ask the lilin she answered,' because we are not physically here''. ''but in the dream I thought I felt Dean react to my skin''. ''That was all you girl, he just couldn't resist any longer''. Knowing this, that Dean had reacted to me and me alone, swelled my sexual ego and I couldn't help peaking around the side of his arm at his reaction I was rewarded by a purely lustful glare. He was angry but not enough to hide his arousal which jutted out like a white flag declaring a truce. '' I thought you might come back'', he stated grimly fighting a smile. I didn't answer, after the last question debatable I had no desire for a round two. The only reason I was even here was because I thought maybe I could learn something useful I was too curious to say no. And she did say no one would get hurt, I just hoped she was telling the truth. Running my fingertips along the edges of the rough hotel towel, I used body language to show what I wanted.

''Oh no sister, last time you left me high and dry''! Dean exclaimed.

I smiled in a wicked way and proceeded to slide my hand under the towel. He was thick, smooth, and hard. I could feel the pumping of the blood, warm to the touch. He gasped at the immediate contact and looked ready to fall over backwards when I began to stroke him. I had forgotten how wonderful it felt to hold a man in your hand, palms running the length as you controlled the intensity. The shaking of his knees as he struggled not to put all his weight into me. And the vulnerability of his expression as he gave into his desires.

''Oh god, I so shouldn't be letting this happen…….damn where did she learn to uhhhh'' He trailed off between breaths shuttering violently as he came. It was instantaneous his moment of release was my moment of gain. I could tell some of my strength had returned and my vitality as well. I felt more alive than I had in a while, kissing his shivering shoulder I mumbled a quick thank you before leaving, and in that rush of motion I heard him return with

''No, thank you'' breathless yet deep, I could hear the smile in his voice.

Sitting down hard on the edge of the tub Dean fumbled for a firm grip on the outside ledge. Either he was going insane, and this was no bad way to lose your marbles, or that chick from his dream last night had just fondled him through the mirror. It was strange, one moment he was scrubbing tarter from his gums and the next there was this crackle like an electrical charge and then she was just _there_. He'd turned around thinking she'd come in behind him only to discover an empty mint green bathroom stained with mildew but no girl. So judging himself clearly whooped by some dream harlot and imagining her, he felt a strong pull to turn back toward the mirror. And there she was peeking out from behind his shoulder with this little smile devious yet all innocence, it was alluring in a way and upsetting in another. He'd wanted to get her to talk make some slip up as to who or what she was. He tried, not really on top of the conversation ladder with the surprise of her visit; he'd only been able to say the first thing that came to his mind, and his downstairs mind at that. But she'd just smiled and slipped her hand over his penis like it belonged there. Shit like that just didn't happen, right? Well okay, he'd taken down some pretty nasty spirits, sent some real bad mother fuckers packing back to hell, he was a tracker it was what he did. He and his brother had been on the job for five years now. They were no veterans, but hell, woman giving hand jobs through the mirror just didn't jive with him and now he needed a little time to try and think things through, while he recovered from that awesome hand job. He shouldn't have let it happen and he knew Sam would rib him on that one. But it was hard to say no in mid stroke, when he felt like his belly might just drop through his knees. Of course he would have to put a stop to it next me, yet he wasn't sure he wanted to, there had to be a downside to this somewhere right? If she was a demon she had to be pretty high up on the chain of command and then no matter what he would have to waste her, demons weren't the sort to be up to doing anything so charitable as free hand jobs, at least not any he'd ever met. They preferred the slash and skin method of reasoning, and sometimes it was the only way to get through to them. Dean sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face he hopped she wasn't a demon he would hate to waste such a fine piece of flesh. But anything that good with touch had to be sinful in some way. Well at least this track wouldn't turn out to be boring It was defiantly a different twist on the Bloody Mary tale. As he went back over the details, trying to catch something, anything that might give him a lead he remembered how she had looked different from last night, skinnier and almost limp. But then as he'd peered at her through half closed lids, that were slightly unfocused with release, something had happened or maybe he just thought it had. He had been in the cyclone of storm orgasm at the time but it looked like she'd filled out in this sparkling mist. That this golden ether had rolled across any bits of skin he could see and turned it with a glowing vitality. Then she had thanked him and he got the impression, not then but now, that he was responsible for the change. Maybe it had been just the glaze on his eyes, either way something untold had gone down and now more than ever he intended to find out just what that thing was.

Sam tried not to picture Angel, he just kept seeing her all shrunken with her huge blue eyes looking at him from the bed like she was afraid of him. What the hell would she have to be afraid of him for anyhow?

He had wanted so badly to help her, he helped many in his line of work, but with her it had been this urgency that he couldn't describe or understand. It was like he held some magic key or something that would release her from harm. It was utterly ridiculous and he knew this but he couldn't stop the nagging feeling that the longer they were apart the more wrong things would become. He knew Dean was frustrated with him because he thought he might have an actual hunt for them, something legitimate and tangible. Not this thing that Sam couldn't even put into words, or explain to Dean. He wanted to be 100 percent behind his brother like he always was, backing him up because he knew if Dean's instincts were tingling there was most likely, something hairy going down. What Sam couldn't figure was why he and his brother both felt pushed, but in different directions, usually their instincts worked together, not against. Could there possibly be a connection? Maybe it was time Sam listened more carefully, however disturbing it might be, to Dean's dream. But before he had a chance to think any further on along that line Dean was bursting through the bathroom door jeans pulled up as he rushed out.

''Dude, you won't believe what just happened to me''! The smile on his face was so large it made Sam wonder what could possibly take place during a shower that would make his brother beam as if he'd just gotten laid for the first time. He frowned slightly, not sure he wanted to know.

''Look Sam, I know you aren't completely behind me with this girl in the dream thing. But you need to know…''Interrupting him Sam rose to the level of his brother'' No listen, I've been thinking maybe there's a connection between your experience and mine''.

''Make that two for me''.Dean stated looking all the more excited.' Two'', Sam crossed the room and gestured on a turn for Dean to elaborate.

''Well, I was brushing my teeth and…CRACK!'' Demonstrating the sound Dean smacked his hands together, startled Sam turned quickly and said in exasperation'' What the hell are you talking about Daen?''

''The girl from last night was there behind me in the mirror''. Sam searched his brothers features trying to sniff out the bullshit beneath the surface, was he screwing with him or what?

'' Woman don't just appear in mirrors Dean''

''We'll this one does and I wasn't suggesting she was any normal woman''! Dean crossed his arms rocking back and forth on his heals like a kid.

''I still don't see what's so great about this woman/thing stocking you''.

''She got a little carefree with the wrist action if you know what I mean''. The motion he made with his hand made it clear what he meant.

''Oh come on Dean, are you serious? What if this thing is dangerous? Why would you even let something like that happen, especially after all the sacrificial mutilations we've seen''. Sam walked in a circle ruffling his dark hair as he rolled his eyes at his brother's stupidity.

''I didn't exactly have time to say no, and I'm not sure I could've stopped her if I tried. It was almost like I couldn't ''.

'' You could've called out or something, I've been here the whole time''.

''We'll its not like you've been much help today, all you've done is sit there and mope, showing me your puppy eyes anytime I tried to tell you about my dream, I mean dude, I understand something that means a lot to you for whatever reason, happened but what if there's a job here''. Dean said all laughter gone from his face he turned toward Sam. ''I think there is something going on here Dean, but I think it could be linked to Angel. I mean look we both have pretty strong instincts when it comes to this kind of thing. What are the odds of there being two separate jobs in a period of two days''? Getting excited now Sam paced across the room where he could almost imagine Angel propped up in his bed, small and almost childlike in the bathrobe.'' I'm sure that whoever it is that is stalking you has been in direct contact with Angel, she was hiding something, she could be caught up with this woman, or maybe the woman did that to her…you know made her sick''. The longer Sam went on the faster he paced and the faster he paced the more convinced he was that he had to find Angel that it would all unravel with her. But first they needed to do some research, to try and discover just exactly what this was stalking his brother. Maybe some kind of unveiling ritual, well they might try that first, even if it only worked on all the lower level entities. It was atleast moving forward and Sam had a feeling they had a lot of moving forward to do before any of the fog would clear.

''I guess you might be right''. Dean said in a way that was entirely unconvincing. But atleast they were moving closer to one head now, instead of pulling in opposite directions. Damn, brothers could be such pains in the ass, Sam thought, smiling despite himself. They were back in business


	5. Chapter 5

Okay I made some major corrections and smoothed some spots over so I am reposting this chapter, I don't know that it will do me any good, but I will feel better about it anyhow. Love and plot bunnies to all.

Chapter 4 follies friend

Looking at Amy you would never expect her to be who she was. While her appearance was all business all class, her demeanor was very personable, even with her penetrating stare. I watched as she clicked her way in on stilettos so pointed it made my toes ache just to imagine their pointed tops and spiked heels. She wore a pant suit with four shinny black buttons hugged tightly beneath the delicate black lace at her collar. Her dark hair was pulled tight into a high bun that had pieces of what looked like thistle sticking out from it. She had tiny though very expressive eyes that sat almost too wide on her face from a nose that was small and puckered. The smallness of her eyes and nose were made up for by her wide generous mouth that somehow managed to tie her face in together and make it almost beautiful. You could see the streaks of grey at her temples the only indication of her true age. Amy was a very handsome woman and although older still managed to pull in her fair share of younger men. She'd lead a rich life she told me often in her sultry Sharon Stone voice, as she puffed away on one of her clove cigarettes. She had money and because of this was allowed a certain begrudging strangeness from the rest of the world. Having money excused much odd behavior and I'd often wondered if that was why she seemed to go so out of her way to be different. No, Amy lived by her own rules in a world where I could only imagine she existed. I was glad she had taken me on as her pet project, ward, or however you wanted to look at it but the facts were simple: if she hadn't been there to help me I might have given up long ago, and I owed her so much.

Amy was very into the mystical side of things, and I guess that's how I became an interest to her, she knew a lot about a lot. Having used her huge recourses as if the occult was a hobby; she had been my main contact throughout most of this ordeal. The expression of welcome on her face opposed the austere appearance as she came forward with arms open, and smile wide.

''You don't look as bad as I imagined, what was this emergency you kept calling about?'', she clasped my hands with hers and the goodwill of her warmth was almost overwhelming. Suddenly I was on the verge of tears, could I confide in someone finally. She had been there with me through all of the initial struggles, slapped me, metaphorically of course, in the face when I'd been ready to give in. She had even helped my escape from Ted, offering me money and support to leave him behind. She had always been there like an angel watching over, yet only intervening when necessary. But how would she feel if she knew I'd now had contact with the demon and conversed regularly. What would she say about my little trip through the mirror and my restored vigilance? I couldn't confide in her everything; I didn't know her well enough to define her reaction. Growing worried with my silence Amy asked briskly.

''Dear, what's the matter, you don't look like you're in pain?'' ''I'm okay but there are things we should talk about, things that happened''. I answered her standing up to greet her properly I stretched out my limbs and looked across into the mantel piece mirror, an O of surprise lighting my features. Not only did I look completely recovered, but I looked better than I ever had. There was a blush to my checks which brightened my pale skin, a glow to my eyes that almost seemed to illuminate theme from the inside, and my hair sparkled in the late afternoon glow like fire. I was afraid to admit it but I looked unearthly, a bright shimmery copy of my human counterpart. Even the things I had always thought imperfections like the small bump on my nose, or the texture of my skin that wasn't as baby smooth as some. It was as if all these little flaws had been air-brushed out, tightened or plumped, pushed up in all the 28 year old places. Looking back at myself my heart hammering as I took stalk, I heard the lilins voice laughingly reply _''I told you it would work, if Dean saw you now he'd probably take you right as you stand'', _I was starting to wonder if I'd ever be free of her caustic company. ''_I'm here for a while now girl, I have great plans for us''_

''Angel are you sure your okay ?'' as I turned to look at Amy, wondering how long I'd wandered off into my mind, her look of surprise replicated mine, the change was pretty damned obvious. I hopped Dean was okay I had been selfish to take that chance with his life, and although I looked gorgeous, I now felt like an org for doing it.

_''He's fine if a little __trembly__ at the moment, if you don't believe me I could always show you later, tonight would be a great time to venture out again, you have so much potential ''._ The lilin said this in such a positive way that I almost felt like we'd be going out for coffee or some other mundane activity.

''Angel, I think your right we should talk'' Amy replied. How was I going to explain my drastic change without telling her about my weakness, my selfish mistake? I thought back to Dean and the way his eyelids had crinkled at the corners even when he was trying not to smile, and with horror realized I didn't regret him at all.

I wished I could tell her everything but decided on the lesser of the two evils. I would focus on the brothers for right now, using my excuse of my attraction to Sam; besides I was only physically attracted to Dean, right? Which had to mean it was mainly the demon who wanted Dean. How could it be anything else? He was too dangerous, not soft and secure like Sam was.

''Why don't I show you to a room and you can clean up before dinner and then we can talk over everything''. As Amy said this she began steering me towards an arched doorway, arm held around my shoulders like any friend might do. The intimate contact was strange to me; it had been so long that anybody had shown me any kind of affection that I had to stop myself from pulling away.

_''I wouldn't trust this one if I were you girl, she's hiding something, and she makes me feel like Snow White about to bite into something nasty''!_

_''Like you have room to speak __lilin__'' _I answered with abhorrence._' Just be careful, how much __do you__ really know about this woman?''_ I had to concede to her point, yet still wasn't the lilin the one I should be worried about? She was the evil sex sucking seductress; all Amy had ever shown me had been support. I still didn't know how much I could tell her if anything at all.I knew I shouldn't tell Amy about the voice and the crazy dream chamber that led to me stealing Dean's seed. I could wait and make sure he was alright before making a complete decision, because if he was injured it was my fault, there would be no going back._ Injured from what a strained penis, really girl your one heaping pile of justifications and denials, you just keep right on repressing your true feelings. _I decided to ignore that one I was tired of explaining myself to a demon, and surprisingly she seemed to quiet down as we turned to the spiral stairway. We rose over stairs that were covered in a thin Indian woven carpet, jagged hexagonal shapes joined in color over rustic lines blending like the horizon. It was flanked on either side by dark iron railing that spiraled like the double helix of DNA. Paintings of old Indians on horseback and distant adobe dwellings surrounded the rise complementing the desert theme which seemed to take over Amy's home. A great wreath of thistle and Passion flower branched out above the top level landing, and I made a mental note to ask about the meanings later on. The hallway was narrow and made me feel cloistered within the suddenly dark purple of the walls; I felt I'd entered some kind of fun house where the walkways swayed from side to side. The contrast of darkness from the lighted floor below was strong and made the hallway stretch out like an optical illusion. It was like being deep in the belly of a ship an echoing caverness place that stilled my breath, making me dizzy. Why would I respond so strongly to Amy's hallway? I waited expecting some answer from my lilin know it all but even she was silenced by the stillness.

''I know it's kind of stuffy up her dear, but just wait till you see your room, there's a balcony that overlooks the courtyard and plenty of natural light'' Amy said this with excitement just as we neared the end of the hallway. Taking a silver chain out from around her neck she inserted a key into the brass knob on my door. I wondered why there would be a lock on the outside of my door.

Taking in my started expression she stated'' I can't be too careful dear''

''So you're scared of me then'' I asked a frown puckering my brow as I looked her in the eye.

''Not you of course, the demon, I wouldn't want you to be tempted out into the night'', she laughed as if this was the most natural thing to be discussing: locking me like a prisoner in her home. And that was when I realized that maybe the Lilin was right, who was I to know what this lady really wanted, if her motives were going to go along with mine, or if I was more like a toy, or a rare find to her. Well I'd stick around atleast long enough to hear what she had to say. Perhaps she had discovered something valuable to me. Or maybe I was just being paranoid. Either way only a little patience would prove to tell.

I heard the click as the key sealed my door and I hoped that it was fear of the unknown and not madness that drove Amy to turn the key.

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I couldn't get the image of Angel out of my head. Dean had gone to check in with Martin our boss. We'd had a fight on whether or not to mention the side project. Dean thought it would be impossible to keep our boss on the down low for long enough to really investigate this case, and even though I agreed with him I didn't want Martin involved. I couldn't say for sure why but just a feeling, and the fact that Martin would want to become part of it, he liked his piece of everything. I felt so protective of Angel though, could be that I was being over protective. But it felt right and since right now all I had to go on was instinct I was sticking to my guns. Dean had finally agreed after I pointed out some of the facts, yet claimed sooner or later we would have to tell Martin. So we were at a stalemate for the time being. I was supposed to be doing research penning down every detail that came to mind about Angel, making a list of supplies for an unveiling ritual, and taking notes from some of the books Dean had brought back from the library on dreams. But my mind kept drifting up and capturing thoughts of Angel that I couldn't seem to control. Lustful thoughts that clenched in the pit of my stomach and moved lower- tickling that part of myself awake. I had been so attracted to her in that laundry room that I doubted if the smell of fabric softener would ever be the same. I pictured Angel the way she'd been when we first met. Long auburn red waves fanning her back and blue eyes half closed as her lips parted on a sigh. In my head I was leaning over her soft body holding her to the washer as my leg pressed up between hers, her speech lost in translation. I thought I could almost feel the way my lips would capture her tongue pulling it deeply inside my mouth, imitating the thrust I could sense behind my hips. I imagined rubbing her parted thighs, my pant leg nudging at the nerve center between, letting her know with a friction just how much I could take and could give. I wanted to give her a chance to respond, to capture that fire and let it burn in her core. I rubbed my hands through my hair peering down at the ever swollen lump in my jeans and I made my way to the bathroom; I needed a shower.

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Slipping to the bed I let the deafening noises of my heart crash over me pulling me in the rip tide of emotional isolation. I felt like I'd been left adrift on a rickety raft .Not much to hold onto and nothing to steer me. I saw in my mind the soft eyes of Sam tempting me and pulling me towards the water's edge, pulling gently and telling me softly that it was the only way for things to turn out right. Beside Sam stood Dean the green steel of his eyes condemning and hating everything that I was becoming. Dean wouldn't gently nudge me over the edge he would push me with hands held stiff and probably smile as I sank out of sight. One less bad thing to take care of, one less soul sucking demon, he'd say. I couldn't imagine saying no if Sam asked me to end it, it was those damned eyes that made me hope for more. Why couldn't Sam be the savior I saw in his eyes, the angel I dreamt would enfold me in its wings. I imagined this is what a fall from heaven would feel like, never ending always tortured. The gravity of not being able to just reach and pull yourself back up, and the slap of stars as they pierced the flesh. I didn't belong here fighting this endless parade of persuasion, this endless battle of wills. How could I ever be strong enough to win? After all, I'd been broken many years ago; Ted had made sure of that. Remembering him now I sunk into desperate recollection as if inflicting the pain was self justified, I remembered our relationship.

The first night we met bared kneed on the floor of the ally way. He took me beside the trash can pulling me up from behind and grunting into me like an animal. Ted had made it clear that he didn't want any eye contact that I was just something to use like a dog in those piles of trash, the men in cardboard boxes sleeping less than ten feet away. And then when he was done he avoided that precious eye contact that I craved, ducking his head to stop my lips from finding his. It felt like a punishment and it made me think I had done something wrong. That's why I was so surprised when he asked me out for a second time. It always ended in the same routine, but I wasn't completely ignorant of intimacy I knew enough to understand that Ted's way was wrong, he made me feel less than human. Yet I let him continue, looking for that man that must feel something for the girl he kept coming back to. Because I was young then, so young that I confused his blundering attempts at love with the real thing. And I accepted him when he said he wanted to move in. I thought we had a chance, all the while blinding myself with justifications and silly half truths, playing pretend house as I rolled in my own denial.

Perhaps it was the control he had over me, and he defiantly had plenty of that. He got off on it I knew now and over the years Ted reduced my self opinion and dependency to little more than nothing. It was like being hostage and learning to love it, smiling as Ted fed me line after line of bullshit. I'd gone over my stupidity for a year now, finding blame in my actions, until I vindicated my guilt.

I remember the day it happened as if it were yesterday, the day I slowly began to fight back. It was the day the emotional abuse escalated into physical and I started to come out of the comma I'd created more than six years before that.

_The breeze floated up and in through the yellow cream of the curtain behind the dish-sink. It was as yellow as the day outside and as happy as the warm new spring in the earth.__ The smell of the roses I'd planted the year before came in through the window on the breeze, fluttering the draped fabric before __dancing towards my nose.__ The task of dishes although never a fun one__, could almost be called calming today. The fight I'd had earlier with Ted was forgotten now that he was gone to work; I discarded it and pretended it had never happened. I pretended as I always did that life in our small cottage house was normal. The fights lately had become so bad mostly because they were about nothing important. I always worried though at the back of my head he would leave me, and because I knew nothing else, I stayed. I had never lived on my own. Had barely been out of the house and thinking about starting college when we met. Ted had made sure to make it clear though that college was off limits for me, he said it was because he always wanted me there when he got home. I pretended it was because he loved me so much that he wanted me all to himself. But again it was about the control Ted kept a tight noose on me and so I hardly knew anything but him all those years. In isolation like that no matter how much you despise your own company, you learn to live with it anyway. That was when I heard it in the living room, the crash of the front door banging into the solid wood of the paneled wall. I glanced at the clock in alarm seeing the numbers like the words on a tombstone, carved deep and weathered. It was Ted's lunch break and I knew exactly what that meant._

_It wasn't that I was afraid of him, he'd never hurt me physically'' of course he has'' a voice in my head stated '' during sex he'd done plenty of physical damage'' I cringed at the thoughts, the pictures that flooded my head like the sluice had been pulled open. And that's when it happened. That's when I felt the first stab of defiance, of anger. And it was so foreign that in my reaction I nearly whooped with the freedom of it. I could hear his heavy work boots now, clomping in through the living room and I knew what he wanted. It was the same thing Ted always wanted when he came home during a lunch, a little ''game-time'' as he would call it as if it didn't even deserve to be named something pretty. And it was then at this moment that I knew I didn't want it. Not this fake copy of intimacy, not anymore. So straitening my shoulders, I braced my legs for battle, and I'll be damned if it didn't feel so good when I said the words_

_''Not right now Ted, I don't feel like it''. The look on his face had been worth it, even the bruises across my jaw didn't sting enough to make me want to take it back. And so my resistance started, it was the begging of the end of our relationship. What I didn't realize then was where that door would lead me, if I had known I would have left that very day._

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Sam squinted into the bathroom mirror leaning his head this way and then that, picking at the edges with his blunt fingernails. He thought maybe there might be some kind of evidence as to what happened to Dean, wondering idly what his reaction would have been if the same thing happened to him. Would he have been able to resist the servicing hand of a beautiful woman? It was a very vulnerable spot to put a man in, after a shower where he most likely would have been naked and thinking about sex anyway, just as he was now. Sam felt a little flair of warmth in his belly as he thought of Angel and their first meeting.

_Entering the room he'd had to blow his hair from his eyes just to see up past her legs. L__egs enclosed in jeans so tight they molded to her calves__And then as he slowly let his gaze wander up,__ noticing__ the curve of her verdant thighs__- she__ had him biting his __tongue on__ a grunt of silent approval. She wore a demine jacket unbuttoned where a black shirt poked from beneath; draping a high bosom. Quickly now lest his scan turn into a leer, Sam even noticed her small and delicate wrist (since when could wrists be sexy) he thought with an inward chuckle. But as his gaze neared her face, the beauty, even smudged with exhaustion was forlorn, she looked lost, and just before her blue gaze wavered- a spark ignited between them. It was an instant change, a connecting of desire, of recognition but so much more. She looked startled and then lust so deep it touched a primal chord inside him__ glazed her eyes__, and looking back into those eyes he'd been overcome by the desire to take her right there. _

_And then she turned away from him, some of the connection was broken but he could feel something still __humming__ in the air like an electrical current that prickled his scalp. So he tried setting his basket down and concentrating on getting the soiled laundry into the wash. But something kept bringing his eyes back to her, and that's when he noticed it. Although she was turned out towards the rising sun, her figure was curved inward, shoulders sagging and shaking, she looked like she might faint at any moment. He had to do something, she looked so weak and __every instinct inside him__screamed at him to protect her_

_Approaching her like one might an accident victim Sam neared her slowly and then placed his hand upon her shoulder. He felt the muscles tense at the contact but realized that now the current was rising between them like he was the conduct. His fingers were tingling and yet were coming alive as every nerve ending burned. How could he feel so much arousal in just one touch? Did the girl feel it to?_

_Sam tried to ignore it as he asked her._

_''Excuse me miss…are you okay?''Silence was all he got and now he was really worried, this was like one of those moments in the horror movies where you would turn, a gruesome grinning corpse, minus the attraction of course. So he tried again._

_''Are you sick?'' She was trembling even harder now like something was building up inside her. And damn him if he didn't still feel like turning her to face him, and wrapping her inside his arms before kissing her trembling lips. Sam could feel the stirring in his pants and he fought to remember this gir__l needed help not a good smooching_

_''Don't touch me''! It was said with an iciness that surprised Sam as he broke contact quickly.__ He'd felt like they were in this intimate bubble which she'd just effectively popped. _

_Sam wasn't surprised when she told him about an ex, a possibly violent ex that she was t__rying to get over. He could tell__ pieces__ were__ left out, thoughts left unsaid but choose to ignore that. Just because he felt they were more than strangers didn't mean she felt the same. She turned then and when Sam caught her sneaking glances upwards he realized that the attraction between them was mutual._

_And if she just came out of a really bad relationship the thought of intimacy would be scary for her, right now what she really needed was a friend, not some pervert with a hard on for red hair. So he offered to help her hoping the question wouldn't come across as a demand, she didn't need any of those right now._

_Her response was almost heart breaking as warm tears slid out from smudged eyes. _

_Okay screw her obvious lack of interest in help he would __atleast__ offer her solace in a number and a promise of some friendly conversation. Sam grinned when she still seemed put off and was rewarded by the return smile which lit her features and made his stomach lurch as his pants constricted once again._

_Fuck Sam get a handle on yourself, you've seen pretty girls smile before. And that was when she said the strangest thing, so out of context it made him wonder if he'd been in the same conversation as she had._

_''I think you're a really nice guy Sam but you shouldn't be so unquestioning of people''._

_Sam had no idea what to think of that, it was like she was warning him, telling him he shouldn't have trusted her so easily. But that probably wasn't the case maybe she was just so used to having no one to trust and she thought she was giving him some kind of advice, returning the favor of his gesture of friendship? She must have more problems than he could ever hope to realize, and just then he wished he would run into her boyfriend someday. A man who would do something like that to any woman needed a good talking to and not just a verbal assault either. _

Coming back out of his memories and looking at himself once again in the mirror, Sam smiled, twin dimples peeking out across from his turned in lips. He knew he would find Angel it's what he and his brother did, what they were good at. Tracking from one species to the next should be similar enough to use the same concepts. They would put the other case on hold for now. He didn't really care whether their boss understood or not, this Angel thing was more important, oh yeah and finding out what the hell was stalking his brother might be good to. He was still convinced the two were connected somehow it was time to get back to work. Now if it had been Angel that came at him through the mirror he supposed he wouldn't have stopped her either. Shaking his head with a wry smile he realized how shameless he felt when it came to his attraction to the girl, and he couldn't even act on those desires. That wasn't what she needed right now, but he couldn't stop the fantasy and he didn't want to.


	6. Chapter 6

Okay next chapter up, thanks to all who are still reading this story, this chap. is allot of filler setting up the story for Sam and Dean to come save the day. No I don't own the boys, but I will be meeting them in Nov. perhaps they will let me take them home in my suitcase( ha,ha,ha) well I can dream right. Please review.

**Chapter 5 Queen of Hearts **

Sitting across the table from Amy made me feel like Alice facing the queen of hearts. I had no idea what side of the card she played and it was making me increasingly nervous. Just sipping the soup from my spoon in fumbling motions, I found myself relying on my napkin more and more often. If Amy noticed anything was amiss she hid it well behind a façade of dazzling smiles and kind words.

The room around us was grand and sloping, tapering at the top edges like a cathedral made of sandstone. Dazzling candles were placed throughout throwing thick layers of shadow onto the walls and ceilings. Quartzes of every color were hanging in thin lined ropes, dangling at different heights and distances and catching the sparkle of the candle light, then reflecting it like a prism. It was a rainbow of multicolored lights, glittering like fairies dancing through the room. Mixed in with the sparkling stones was also a huge assortment of gleaming bells that tinkled softly in the soft rush of the open windows breeze.

How anyone could live among such beauty and not sit in awe of it each night was beyond me, but then I suppose you would get used to it.

'' So -I learned some more about your demon''. Amy stated grabbing my attention away from the ambiance of the room. As if I were in sole possession of some golden treasure she smiled secretly covering it behind one dainty palm, she looked ecstatic. '' But there's something different about you as well. You'd always looked drawn and sick before when we met; but now……it's like you've embraced the demon inside you, and I'll say it has me worried, dear girl''. Amy looked closely causing an unnerved shiver to snake down my spine, I felt like she could see through my lies at that moment so choose to answer her. ''Why don't we discuss your news first, I don't think what I have to say will interest you ''? Twisting in my seat I couldn't help the excitement that shone in my face, I smiled and scrunched my napkin in my fist. Waiting as Amy choose that moment to poor herself another goblet from the decanter of bubbling wine, not offering me seconds but only delaying her words. I felt like she and I were playing around each other. Only telling the other the outside story and leaving the chewy center for ourselves. Oh yes how could I ever trust her completely.

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I stared into the surface of the scrying bowel watching Amy and my special Angel seated together in the room above mine. Seeing Angel again made me feel fevered in my possession of her. The urgency to take her was like instinct, raw with a level of affection I'd never felt before. What would she do if she knew I was watching her, even after this long year, waiting for the right time to reveal myself and my plan? Scrubbing the lightly layering stubble on my chin with my hands I watched her with eyes half closed. I wanted her now as I always had, beneath me as I tasted her, feeling her walls around me contracting, weeping with her life force. I had been keeping a close eye on her, always watching when I was able. It made me feel omniscient like a god, only observing yet never coming in direct contact with my creation. Angel was my creation after all, born from a white canvas while I added the colors. And rich now she was, just the sight of her had my hands clenching in my lap, flexing with sexual needs that could never be satisfied by anyone but her.

I couldn't help the rush of endorphins at the direct sight of her, it was a heady mix and she intoxicated me. I wanted to bury my hands in her hair nuzzling the curling tendrils at her hairline, and inhaling her scent. It was I who had brought that weak little girl up from the ashes, like a phoenix languished in the heated flames of my desire. My need for her increased now that I could see her as an equal, see her as a tempting piece of adversary to stand beside me in my plans, to become my queen in all the ordained ways. Ruling and conquering together, bending others to our will until the world welcomed and supported us. We'd ride on the backs of the people, like waves as we crested the future of mankind. The 

resurrected rulers of men in another form, it would be truly magnificent, and now I wanted her by my side more than ever. But it was yet too soon to show my hand, this game was just now getting started, we had forever, and she and I were linked indefinitely like the chains that would soon bind our souls.

Her change, now that she had accepted the will of the lillin inside, her beauty was unmistakable in the thousands of gleaming crystals, in the reflection of all those damned tinkling bells used to amplify her powers. She would be at her best tonight. She was a sexual being now , taking what was needed for survival and feeding it back into herself, just as I had all those years before when as a navy man I came across something that would change my life forever.

Angel knew me only as Ted, but Ted was a human name, and what we surpassed together would bring us closer to being Gods than anyone who had ever tried before. I knew the moment I saw her it was she who bring about the change, she who would give me what was needed to vessel such a being as a Lillan.

I could tell in the wide set line of her childlike eyes, and the slight tremble in those doll like lips. Angel had nearly been a child herself then, and her innocence was like a beacon that glowed from inside her. I'd known since I started the search so long ago, what my target would be. That and many failed attempts had shown me mistakes uncountable; weak woman unable to contain the Lillan. And then it had hit as I stood watching her from the other side of the restaurant, drink in hand, potential blazing forth like liquid gold, if I could find someone naive enough to be able to break her down and then, and then…….no one came out of the face of opposition without new strength, I could rebuild her, remake her. The idea of forging this new being with my own actions was almost more excitement than I could contain, and now I remembered our first meeting, my first lesson to her. I remembered poring on the charm like a thick cream, the way she shivered at my slightest most innocent touch. And the way her skin reddened with each successful compliment.

I held her eye contact like a predator satisfied in the dilatation of her blue eyes, innocent though she may have been, she was as ready as I, that first night, and it didn't take much to get her into that ally way. Perhaps I was a little overzealous, slightly drunk in my taking of her body, but I knew it needed to be this way. I avoided her mouth when she sought mine, clearly defining the line between making love and fucking, I wanted her to understand how it would be between us…..because if she came back for more after the way I treated her that night I knew she would be mine…..always.

Even during this past year, while I let Angel believe she was making some headway…..she was leaving me behind, I'd never been far. Gracious was the gift of my followers. It was rich people like Amy Derenger who made this foray possible, who had enough faith in me to endorse my every step. Ultimately Amy would be dispensable; yet, now as I stayed beneath her roof she was the key stone that held my plans together.

And so I would wait, letting Amy believe she was my lover, while keeping an eye on my beloved, my forever queen, my Angel.

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''We are getting somewhere as a matter of fact, I have a packet of news coming in the morning details that should help lead us to some answers about that symbol on your arm and if it can be broken. It should also help us to learn more about our Demon and if she has any particular weaknesses that could help us to atleast contain her, so you could possibly learn to live alongside her, if nothing else comes up''. Amy leaned forward long fingers and dark painted nails steepling together bellow her smile, she continued. ''I thought you could stay here tonight, besides from what my men told me it seems you had some young man at your side when they found you….I would love to hear more about this, you haven't taken any familiars Angel dear, have you? It would explain the recovery?'' She giggled at the end of this as if it were some great joke, clapping her hands she added, '' Tell me he was at least handsome''. I thought she was trying to put me at ease while digging for information I wasn't sure I wanted her to know.

I paused, how much I could tell this woman, I didn't completely trust her, I couldn't. Trust was a hard thing to give when she kept me locked in my room, as if she had something to fear. It wasn't as if I was going to come after her, she had no penis, and she was safe from any advances. So why did I feel like the lock was more of a precaution to keep me from something she was hiding._ I told you she's not to be trusted _

_girl, if you have to tell her anything just say Sam was a concerned stranger you met the day before…don't muddle up the story with any juicy facts_, _her energy is just all kinds of wrong. Can't you feel it? _We'll it might not be such a good idea to trust the Lillian either but she was making some valid points and then she made the point that drove home my distrust with an iron spike to my heart, something I had conveniently forgotten over the past year._ Remember it was Ted who introduced you two? What was it he said…she was a distant friend of the family?_ Gulping nervously I couldn't figure how I had forgotten something so obvious, even if she was helping me now, why would she want to? And what exactly was she gaining, just some frills and chills for her collection of oddities. Well whatever game she played at, I had to act like I was none the wiser..so at least I would have the element of surprise if it ever came down to it.

''just someone I met the day before, he was playing the part of rescuer before your goons busted in and broke up the party.'' I said all this with a shrug pretending it meant nothing of great consequence.

''Yes dear but what about your appearance, the last time you called me in that kind of tizzy you were very ill, you look fine.''

''yes well maybe I jumped the gun somewhat on that one, I really just was excited to learn of your news''.

Amy looked at me like she knew I wasn't being totally truthful, all I'd done is side step and back hand each new line of questioning, and Amy wasn't stupid, she knew there were things I wasn't saying, she sighed.

''Well I won't press you now dear, details aren't important. But I sure wish you would trust me''.

I shrugged looking her in the eyes and stating'' Trust is a difficult issue for me, especially after everything I went through with Ted. You of all people should know this, you were a family friend after all''. I lowered my eyes playing the hurt victim to her guilt trip of trust, she may be smart but I was no longer anybodies dummy either.

''perhaps '' she stated letting the conversation go flat as issues floated around us like bees at the mad hatters tea party, and I choose to ignore them. But now there was one thing that kept playing to my mind, nibbling at my sympathy with red tinged eyes. It was the evil stepmother of questions and it hurt more than any small stinging venom should, because it went straight to the source, the source of all my denial, all my pushing thoughts of life before the great Lilian addition. _Were me and Ted ever really happy together_? You wouldn't think that would be such a big question, such a burning answer, until it filled my head with such a resounding echo it was like trumpets blaring, and I was no longer hungry. I climbed the terracotta spirals and didn't even notice as the lock turned behind me, because I was already gone lost inside the past, lost inside Ted's eyes.

It wasn't always so terrible being with Ted; it was when we had sex that he grew distant and aloof. Not to the actual act but to any warm emotion that would reflect on me, it was more like a punishment the way his eyes would stray his features scrunching like I revolted him, and for some reason I accepted the bad, just to get past it to the good, at least in the beginning.

''_What would you like for breakfast, my Angel''? Ted asked his eyes shining up at me above that straight toothed grin. I paused the awkward silence of only moments before forgotten; I could still feel his seed tepid on my thighs and his eyes only moments before cold and unfocused now playing over my features with a tender glance. I soaked in the warmth of obvious adoration and once again forgot __**that**__ part of our relationship, so who cares if the sex was weird just looking at the bend of his sardonic brow, cut carefully by the emotions in his dark eyes, to those curved and amused parted lips, I cared for him more than anyone else I had ever known. Ted was my first and only love. He'd made me breakfast in bed that morning fruit and eggs garnished with flowers from our garden. And as we lay full and sated against giant pillows of yellow sunshine, his head in my lap as I stroked his short dark tawny hair, he would tell me of his travels over sea's in the East. He would tell me about the impoverished people who struggled everyday just to survive, about how he wished things like that didn't exist, and if only the right ruler would come into power, someone who could end world problems, someone strong enough to eradicate poverty _

_like the disease that it was. He said he would gladly follow such a strong man. He was so passionate, the core of his eyes glowing with inner determination, that it made me forget the other Ted, the one that only a short time before looked dead inside. _

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'' Come on Sam, what have you been doing this whole time?'' Sam looked up and shrugged indicating the research had come up bust so far and then asked '' did you get the stuff for the revealing spell''?

'' I did, but well…boss wasn't happy he wanted to know how our search for Theodore Tomasic was going, it is our top priority you know? Teddies pretty dangerous, you did read through this file the boss gave me right''? Pulling out a huge brown draw string file and tossing it on the bed along with the other piles of research Dean raised his brow in question.

''I thought you wanted to find the mystery girl Dean? Hasn't the Tomasic guy been out of play for a year or so anyway…maybe someone else got to him first''. Sam turned away unable to get the image of Angel from his mind, he had a girl to find also but Dean was right this guy they were tracking was very important, if he was as big a player as they thought- it was essential to find him and the faster the better.

'' I do want to find her but the reason behind his absence could be even more sinister than anything we've seen before, and I don't know about you…but that scares the hell out of me…. the boss thinks that whatever Teddy discovered in the East might be the source of all his new found power…..what if he's right Sammy?'' Scrubbing his face into his callused palms Dean sighed. What a bitch this had all turned out be. He wanted to find the mystery girl so badly, but the fact remained- she wasn't top priority.

'' Look perhaps we'll just work on both, we know this Tomasic guy was last seen in the surrounding desert area and we also know one of his richest backers is rumored to have a vacation home somewhere nearby, he could very well be hidden there'', Sam turned towards Dean pointing to the outlying locations ruled out so far on their map of the Arizona desert. The fact that it was probably at least marginally hidden didn't deter the brothers any. With this revealing spell and the fact that they were using the most amplified artifact to focus the energy, it would bring something to the surface, Dean smiled.

'' You don't think there will be protective charms thrown up around it''? Dean asked pulling out the items needed for the ritual. One purple grounding cloth embroidered with silver threads, a crystal chalice to place in the center of the triangle, filled with rose water purified and blessed…extra soil to sprinkle the shape around the vessel, and special stones each with a purpose of its own.

'' I was counting on it, that's why I brought this''. Sam held up a shiny black stone scrubbed smooth by the pebbles of the Dead Sea. In the center of the winking chalice this stone would not only focus the power of each mineral and incantation it would pierce the fog of any protective measures around the man they sought. It was mighty powerful. Sam smiled in a way that had his eyes glinting in the browning bulb of the motel room light. After using this on Tomasic, or perhaps even during, with a stone like this they could easily pinpoint the location of his Angel. And Sam felt it was important even if it wasn't number one priority to seek this girl, his instincts were in full alert and he'd be damned if he was going to ignore the strong pull he felt between them. He sighed, if only that pull would lead him right to her, what good was instinct without motive. He turned to look at Dean so they could prepare for the ritual, time to unveil hidden secrets, time to find this bastard…and his sweet would soon follow.

'' Let's get conjuring….I am itching for a hunt'', and Dean smiled studying the surface of the black stone and winking back at his reflection. Soon he could uncover the secret of his little seductress. Dean imagined all the frisky scenarios his male mind could wrap itself around, she was well worth the mystery and well worth the effort.

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Somewhere along the line I had fallen asleep my eyes came back into focus laid out on velvet and reclining behind the gossamer wisps of bed curtains…I felt slow and drugged, and wondered whether I had awakened at all. The air was thick with some kind of sweet smelling incense and I struggled to keep myself propped even on my elbows. Behind the gossamer curtain there was the shape of a man, tall and looming…and I felt -menacing as well. The moon from the balcony doors which had been left open to let in the cool night breezes, now shown a thin line of silver barely touching the silhouette of his shadow. I could hear his deep breathing even and calm as he moved closer, the bare pads of his toes sliding over the wood, with smooth motions. The fact that I couldn't move very easily was alarming, but it all seemed so distant…so foggy, and so unreal.

It had to be a dream because now as I made out the features that shone more clearly in the gray glow….it came to my attention that this man bore a striking resemblance to my long gone Ted. The only difference being his smooth features, he'd worn a beard for years and if this man was indeed Ted, his smooth faced transformation had me transfixed.

'' What….who'', I questioned speech and eyes heavy with the quality of dream, which came out alarmingly weak, I thought…trying once again to raise myself. How much more vulnerable could I possibly feel.

'' Shhhhhh….he said parting the veil and sitting beside me on the bed. It was Ted alright; I struggled to get up the strength to move away. But it was like swimming in honey, the air thick with its sweetness, I gulped nervously, suspicious and unnerved.

My eyes were now huge, like the moon in the night….leaving a watery reflection that trailed down my checks. It was Ted who loomed above; Ted who wore little more than a smile….a sweet smile that I knew bellied his hidden characteristics. But now as I fell back onto the bed feeling defeated and small once again, all I could do was star into the eyes of the man who had taken so many years of my life, who had transformed me into this gross excuse for a human and he looked, he looked……delighted.

'' Just a dream…'' I whispered as I quenched my eyes tight repeating the words as if he would go away the more I believed it.

'' It's not a dream…my sweet, we'll it kind of is you see…..'' grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at his bare chest, I gasped jerking away. He had the same mark…the same mark that he had used to bind the Lillin inside of me. What a crazy nightmare. Surely, Ted was miles away….finding some other unlucky girl to rope into the sickening excuse for a relationship we had had. I needed to speak and I found strength in my words.

'' If only Ted…if only you had been forced to live the same hell that I have gone through, if only this weren't some darkened nightmare…….you deserve to be in hell'', I said this angrily slurring the words together but managing to garner enough strength to be proud of the way I sounded.

And the bastard smiled, actually smiled, my visceral turmoil welled up inside me, threatening to expound his waiting ears with ugly words. But he only looked complacently down into my eyes, self satisfaction evident in the tilt of his own.

'' Well I expected hostility at first… after all there's many things I kept from you, and to you I must have seemed like a monster, but in time when you learn of my true motives…..you will be mine forever''. I couldn't contain my hateful words any longer and they explodes from behind my lips, dripping malice.

'' None of this matters…..because you can't possibly be here in Amy's house, and I know I am dreaming, there's no reality here…..only fools'', I said the last part with a sneer, anger breaking over me like a wave, I fell into the pattern, and my anger finally gave me the willpower to raise beside him, to look him in the eyes and to tell him what I would like to tell him in real life.

'' You are nothing to me anymore Theodore Tomasic, I may have felt something…perhaps once I loved you…..but now, after all that you have done to me….YOU ARE NOTHING''!

He looked suddenly bleached white, and for the first and only time he looked despondent, he looked like a real man might look if placed in the same situation. What an imagination I have, I thought to myself.

'' I will change your mind…my sweet Angel….I will undo what I have been forced to do to you emotionally…I will change your mind''. Ted said the last bit quietly but with enough passion to make me think he believed himself….the same passion he'd used to get in his voice, when he talked about eradicating and correcting the wrongs in the world.

This was turning out to be the strangest dream I had ever had, and I looked up into the shinning face of my ex-lover, and he was smiling slightly…a smile I knew well. I knew what always preceded that smile, and I pushed up into his chest, his muscles jumped beneath my fingertips, what a strange detail for a dream. But he over powered me…he dwarfed me as he always had, and he pressed his mouth to mine.

It wasn't a kiss I was expecting…..reaffirming my thoughts of this being a dream, it was passionate; it held feeling….feelings Ted had never shared before, when we became physical. It made me long for what could have been at the same time rejecting his ardent touch. It made me wish I could hate him more.

What right did my mind have playing these tricks on my already drained psyche , what a devious piece you are….I resolved never to think of Ted again….or at least to try not to.

'' _Wake up girl…..push him away as you did Sam…use our powers, your hate if you have to….but push him away'' _The Lillin spoke through the haze of my dream, she spoke as if Ted was real and not imagined, and in my fear that he might just be, I lashed out with white hot energy…pulsing from behind my eyes..Like an invisible arm….I pushed Ted away. And I sat bolt upright gasping and shaking.

'' What the hell was that'' I asked the room around me and then to the Lilian stated '' Why did you wait so long to step in during the dream….I could've done without that one''.

'' _I am not sure it was just a dream. And just so you know I was trying to protect our location from the revealing spell Sam and Dean, have placed over you….I just hope I was successful''_

'' Wha….?'' I asked eyes widened with worry.

'' _I just had this feeling that that dream was more dangerous than the spell''. _

'' But how could a dream…?''

'' _That's what I would like to know….was there anything significant in the dream? Are you sure that's all it was?''_

'' Of course, that's all it was'', I snapped adding '' Why would Ted be here? He had his fun sticking me with you…he got his revenge!'' I pulled my arms up around me, I suddenly felt very chilly indeed.

'' _I'm just not sure honey…but I have a feeling he's not quiet done with you…dream or not''_

I thought back over the dream thinking if there was any reason to be alarmed and then it hit me all at once: the symbol on his chest, the same symbol I had, could he be using it as I did mine?

I started to shake again harder into the bed sheets, surely Ted wasn't…….

'' _Angel…what is it, girl?''_

I pulled down my shirt exposing the black mark to the air and tracing it with my fingertip.

'' He had a symbol just like mine'', I answered in a dreamy way. Not believing it even as the words left my mouth.

'' _You don't think…. oh girl…..he could've easily, if it was more than just a dream''…._she let the words trail off, I knew exactly what the Lillian was thinking, and none of it was my idea of a tea party.


End file.
